I am at peace that he no longer has to suffer. Knew it was inevitable by research and reading I had done but still had hoped there was some small miracle that was out there.

I feel that he was not fully truthful with the doctor or me on example is his smoking - I washed all his winter coats jackets and never thinking to go through pockets - there was tons of cigarette butts that tumbled out of the dryer and in the lint trap.

Sad that the sisters and ex-brother-in-law seems to careless that he passed away - the youngest sister and brother-in-law asked if was going to be a family only viewing - there was not - they did not care to see him alive the last year - the sister only 2-6 times - most when she wanted something from me to take her places or whine about her ex-husband during their divorce last year. The funeral director said he was really bad looking and was already stinking good - so it was best to go incorrectly to crematory.

I am glad he was able to walk out of trailer on his own here day he went to doctor and was admitted to University Hospital in Indianapolis and as long as he was getting IV fluids he was up and walking to bathroom with help - after being transfered to Alpha home I think he was totally bedridden - he did not know that I was there when I went down on the 23rd day before he died to sign papers for hospice - he looked like the end was near and the hospice nurse doubted he would live till Tuesday (26th) I took some pics and sent them all via phone to the youngest sister - he actually did look like a corpse in my opinion - she would of probably took pictures at the viewing like she did of her dad and I imagine she did same with her mother - with her mother I stayed upstairs in the funeral home as I had sat with her from the 18th of Dec to the day she died on 26th of Dec. and none of them stayed very long with her while she lay dying at the nursing home.

Just trying to pick up the pieces - awaiting the funeral director to tell me if any help has come in from friends for cremation expenses need to get with him for death certify to close his bank account out a whole whopping $0.01 and know what I need to come up with to square up with him - then I can deal with gathering up property tax money for the Culver house.

Been working out her gathering up metal stacking it in one place so can have a dumpster full; been mowing and going up to Culver house pulling weeds by hand and gathering up rock and defining flower beds Just keeping my mind occupied so not to many negative thoughts if I am going to make it. Ways to go on clean up out here and thankful friend from Indy has stuck by me and helping.