Hello, @janet7 Your compassion and empathy are so heartwarming to read about!

In my experiences, I found meltdowns unavoidable and yet, I too, wanted desperately to hide them because I knew when I showed my caregiving stress, it made my wife feel bad, which made me spiral even worse.

While not for everyone, I took to keeping an old pillow on our sofa in the far room. When I was overwhelmed or needed a good cry, I used that pillow to muffle my crying and, at times, as a punching bag! That worked great until one night when I was really exhausted and on a last nerve, began to pummel my pillow, and it tore -- leaving me with a terrible mess of feathers all across the room --- which then added to my never-ending list of things to do! By the time I had the feathers almost all picked up I was laughing at myself! Every so often I still find a stray feather in that room!

Strength, Courage, & Peace