@emilyw Congrats to your cousin! And congrats to you for hangin' in there! Your persistence enabled you to get some much-needed rest, and I hope this continues.
Ginger

@emilyw, you're right. Caregiving is a not a full time job, it's 24/7 overtime and includes mental exhaustion with the responsibility. Yes, when supporters offer sympathy and empathy, they are opening the door for the main caregiver to ask for help. Often people don't know what to offer and are waiting to be asked with a specific task. I try to give them something I know they can do. For example I wouldn't ask my friend who doesn't even cook for herself to cook a meal, but she can run to the drugstore with a shopping list in hand.

Have you caught up on your sleep and being back home in your surroundings?

My role as primary caregiver to a relative who never married or had children overwhelmed me when I was the only person in her life that offered to support her. At least, that is what she told me. Over the course of 6 months, from diagnosis of liver cancer to being “discharged from clinic”, my understanding and execution of that role changed. I found that “primary” caregiving had 2 additional components; 1) the patient needs to be his or her, own best primary caregiver, and 2) assuring informed care is administered to the patient by others counts.
I placed the heavy burden on my shoulders that I had to soldier on with “support” by myself. Over the months, the patient and I learned to “ask” friends and family how and when they could help. It worked. I oversaw the addition of caregivers who flew in to Phoenix and who would support the life long recovery at home from her neighbors. She feared who might be “burdened” by the request. I insisted that the truth of who would step up to help would be better than hoping that your favorite nephew might, and then, wouldn’t. If you don’t ask, you’ll never know who really will be there for you. It surprised her with tears of glee and some disappointment, but now she knows…