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artgirl2 (@artgirl2)

Just Need a Little Support

Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Apr 25, 2023 | Replies (9)

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@loribmt

Ah, family dynamics…aren’t they just mind boggling? Well, you’re not alone in being the black sheep of the family, m’dear. As a fellow ‘baa baa black sheep…” there’s not a lot you can do to bring your family around to the dark side. ☺️
What’s the old axiom…you can pick your friends but you can’t pick your relatives.

If these invitations are painful, then diplomatically decline. It’s very liberating. I learned the art of that years ago and never looked back. Having traveled through my cancer journey, I also realized life is too short to be cluttered with old baggage filled with negativity.

So, now focus on my immediate family and the tight, but small fist of friends I care deeply about and I keep busy with activities that keep me uplifted and fulfilled. If I get an invitation to a shower, wedding, etc., that fills me with dread, I respectfully decline and send a gift or card. Sometimes, for the heck of it, some distant relative gets a little surprise in the mail of a gift or a card, something I’ve painted or sewn, just to let them know maybe all the stories about crazy Great Aunt Lori are unfounded. 😂

Like @johnbishop suggested, we need to be resilient in our lives and our relationships. But I still add that we can also distance ourselves from toxic situations with out fear of guilt. I realize this sounds blissfully selfish but we have to give ourselves permission sometimes to say no!

My other focus is on the new family members I’ve found in our Connect forum. It’s the kitchen table I remember from my childhood. My mom, neighbor ladies and my grandma would chat endlessly! It was the best experience! That’s the feeling I have here where we are free to talk openly. We can offer encouragement or sage advice from our many years on the planet, we can ask for help and sometimes we just need someone to listen and have empathy or wipe a runny nose. ☺️

With an @name of @artgirl2, what is your creative outlet?

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Replies to "Ah, family dynamics…aren’t they just mind boggling? Well, you’re not alone in being the black sheep..."

Hi Lori-
Somehow I am only now responding to your very good and helpful note. Thank you for taking the time.
This and the comments from the others who responded is indeed, supportive and kind. Sometimes that is all a girl needs.
You asked about my creative outlet....I love to sew and I am learning to paint with watercolors. I am also a writer, which helps me process my "stuff." It's that sometimes I forget to use those very good tools, particularly when I am stuck. This past January I assigned myself a project for fun. I thought about memoir writing and how I do not have a life that can be held in a book, perhaps, but I realized I could approach that topic from a different perspective. So, I began to write a poem...which is not finished...but I did complete the art that went with it- I made 75 pin cushions! I chose that number because if I am not here at that age, (I just turned 69 and have a history of pancreatic and breast cancers)....I chose that number simply because I like the sound of it. It's a quarter of a century. And it reminds me to keep getting up, especially on days that I am a bit down.
Tell me more about your creative work, if you like. (Not trying to pry, but I am interested.
Take care and be well.