Good day, @tim1028 Your post, to me, is spot on! So much of 'talking' is listening and this is especially true for caregivers! So often I wished for someone to actually listen to me rather than zone out when I didn't respond with their desired answer of 'fine' when I would be asked 'how are you?'

I suspect many folks are afraid to actually listen to caregivers since they worry they won't know how to answer or be able to help, but for me often the help was just in being able to speak my concern out loud! I also believe this was why I was hardly ever asked how I was (as the caregiver) by the myriad of doctors who cared for my wife over the years.

I also loved your white water rafting allegory. The last rafting trip I took (on the Upper Gauley in West Virginia) I almost drown and had to be rescued along with another of our party. This after years of rafting and countless trips. I can't tell you how many times I felt like I was drowning as a caregiver!

Strength, Courage, & Peace