It’s because I love you…

As necessary as written directives are this poem goes deeper than mechanics like cemetery plots and healthcare plans. I think that it deals with making sure that the people who will be involved with your care really know you well enough to understand what you would or wouldn't want just in case something is missed you all of your written directives. You need someone to say, "oh, mom wouldn't like that at all."

Hello Ms. Ginger,
I am very happy the poem is well received! Hopeful that it will help individuals have a soft way to start a hard conversation with loved ones. Congratulations on having the forethought to have care plans in place; and as you mentioned, to review any documents completed every few years to ensure your wishes remain the same or update them. Many individuals tuck these away, as with a life or automobile insurance policy & don’t pull them out until they are needed.

@ginger I've made my end plans but now it's time to talk with my son ,I tried before but he didn't want to hear it ,his wife I have told her some

hello @lioness,
You have the right goal in mind- sharing your wishes with loved ones who can help make sure those wishes are known in the event you are unable to express them yourself. When people have shared that they are having trouble bringing up the topic or attempted to, but loved ones weren’t ready, I encouraged them to find an opportunity to elaborate on a situation seen in a television program, movie, or current event. You would think that it would or should be somber but it doesn't have to; it just needs to be a way for that individual to relate to & understand the importance of starting the talk now. It may be taking the focus off you and asking an adult child if they ever thought about the care they would want or not want in the event they couldn't express it for themselves.

I used an episode from the old “ER” program to help my husband & adult daughter understand better. It is a serious portrayal of a woman who suffers a stroke-from the patient’s perspective. Youtube has a clip that contains two brief back-to-back clips (watch them both). It is dated & a little fuzzy but the message is crystal clear. It is called- “ER” Alone in a Crowd (Cynthia Nixon).

@ginger I've made my end plans but now it's time to talk with my son ,I tried before but he didn't want to hear it ,his wife I have told her some

hello @lioness,
You have the right goal in mind- sharing your wishes with loved ones who can help make sure those wishes are known in the event you are unable to express them yourself. When people have shared that they are having trouble bringing up the topic or attempted to, but loved ones weren’t ready, I encouraged them to find an opportunity to elaborate on a situation seen in a television program, movie, or current event. You would think that it would or should be somber but it doesn't have to; it just needs to be a way for that individual to relate to & understand the importance of starting the talk now. It may be taking the focus off you and asking an adult child if they ever thought about the care they would want or not want in the event they couldn't express it for themselves.

I used an episode from the old “ER” program to help my husband & adult daughter understand better. It is a serious portrayal of a woman who suffers a stroke-from the patient’s perspective. Youtube has a clip that contains two brief back-to-back clips (watch them both). It is dated & a little fuzzy but the message is crystal clear. It is called- “ER” Alone in a Crowd (Cynthia Nixon).

My mother never wanted to talk about her wishes. Then when she was in the throes of dementia and Alzheimers, there was no way to connect. My father later was just the opposite, and we did the best we could to honor what he wanted.

You can document what things you want to go to specific people in a document or letter.

In broad terms, things like: do I want visitors, do I want someone to read to me or play music, do I want someone to hold my hand [or not], in case I cannot communicate this. Comfort care type things. https://www.fivewishes.org/
Ginger

Susan-Please share a more comedic way to initiate the conversation! Thank you for helping to open this much-needed discussion!

Merry

Yes ma'am. Glad you asked; is a good icebreaker. It is found on youtube & will need to search "The Comeback"-Kramer's Coma

Linda- SOns are very funny about talking about the death of their mom. One time my son told me that he would lock me in a closet when I said that I didn't want to be put in a nursing home. lol Or, don't worry you aren't going anywhere for a very long time!

If your son still can't handle what you need to tell him then write it all down and make sure that his wife has a copy, along with all of your legal papers. Would that work?