Hello @naturalebyjas Sorry for the delay in responding, but our daughter had surgery and I was pulling caregiving duties and playing Mr. FixIt for things she needed to have done, but can't yet.

I, too, as learned to be very guarded with my feelings. I believe this is one of those negative aspects of caregiving that are simply part of the package. In my wife's and my case, my reluctance came from two places, which may or may not apply to anyone else's journey, but I share JIC it can help others or perhaps others can relate.

First, I found many folks, especially close family, were fast to criticize my caregiving decisions, even though they were made based on my wife's express desires. I would bristle when I'd get criticized and then not be told why or what they thought might actually be a better path! I even had one of my wife's siblings tell me I should have let my wife die during her time in a coma.

Second, I also was told, or overheard folks saying I was 'complaining' when they'd ask 'how are you' or 'how are things going' and I'd actually tell them it was tough! I came to learn all most folks want to hear is 'We're fine!" do they can feel better themselves -- without doing anything!

These facets of caregiving were what drew me to Connect and their Caregiving community since it was far more nonjudgmental than those folks around me. Plus the isolation was broken through Connect. My wife's disease caused to her have many emotional and mental issues and this scared away the vast majority of our long-time friends -- manyfor several decades. In the end, my wife had one friend who stuck with her and I had one. Both were geographically remote, but we're very supportive and both never judgemental. In that way were very lucky. During those years I often recalled my father-in-law's old adage "if you can count your friends on one hand, you are truly lucky."

I wish you continued Strength, Courage, & Peace -- and remember superheroes only exist in the comics -- not caregiving!

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