@woohoo You are in a tough situation. I've worked with child and families like yours. It is beyond taxing and I'm not going to say I know what you are going through.

I will ask, how are you taking care of yourself? Do you have a spouse? How are they taking care of themselves? How are you taking care of your marriage?

It sounds like you are a wonderful parent and you are seeking the correct help. May I ask if you are you in individual and/or family therapy? I ask because your child does not have to participate in therapy for things to improve. Improvement may be small and slow. It could be you taking better care of yourself, relying more on supports via asking for help, changing how you view the situation, etc.