Hi @woohoo, you packed a lot into that short paragraph and I realize that you've only shared the tip of the iceberg. I know this is hard, but it sure seems like you're doing a lot of thing right. Give yourself credit for that. For example, you're educating yourself even if J choses to discontinue DBT therapy - at least for the moment. Understanding J's FAS can go a long way to supporting them, like shifting typical discipline approaches. Sending info to educate family and friends is a great idea too. That will help them support you better.

When my daughter was 15 (just a couple of year ago), I would tell her to do something and expect her to do it, right away. That's how we were taught at home. When dad said, we did. It frustrated me when M would say Yeah and then not do it. I'd have to remind her, etc. Then I learned that she needs to plan her day in advance. Expecting her to act right away sent her into anxiety or anger. So I adjusted my behavior. When I wanted her to do something, she added it to a list. It got done...on her timeline, but it did get done. Less stress for both of us.

What have you learned in your self-education about FAS that really helped you? What is one thing in your approach with J that has helped the two of you recently?