Connect
← Return to Sudden personality change in my grandfather
Discussion
Sudden personality change in my grandfather
Brain & Nervous System | Last Active: Mar 29, 2022 | Replies (14)Comment receiving replies
Hi,
My grandfather has been developing some changes in his personality.he is 80yrs old. He was mentally active a few months before the pandemic. During the onset of the pandemic, we lost our grandmother. They spent most of their life together. They barely spent time alone . Both of them were doctors and owned a clinic. Everyday they would just go and return from the clinic together. Grandma’s death affected him really bad. He once had a stroke on 2017. He kept forgetting things, recently his brother died and he went to his funeral, the next day he was angry at us for not telling him that his brother died. Recently, me and my mom went abroad for a 3 days for some family stuff, during these days my mom asked my father’s elder sister (my maternal aunt) to give him company, this was not her first time . (He was the best grandpa in the world. He was really famous in our area.) The first day we got a call from my my aunt saying that he tried to kiss and hug her and made her really uncomfortable. She felt really bad and left the house immediately crying. After hearing the news my mom became weak. He treated my aunt just like his daughter. He kept apologising to her. And my mom was sure that he wont do it, (my mom was also a doctor). The next day he called us saying that he tried to catch my aunt when she was falling and then she tried to back off and left crying saying that he tried to rape her, he was crying and saying that he might commit suicide. The next day we left, and he kept telling us that the previous day my aunt came and kept cursing him and left and he told nothing. Now he starts to cry saying that he was innocent he helped their family and still she cursed him for no reason. Then we came to know that this was not the first time it happened with our maid but she hit him and let it go. Now we are scared. My mom and my father said that he is suffering from Alzheimer's and he is not the grandfather we knew.
Replies to "Hi, My grandfather has been developing some changes in his personality.he is 80yrs old. He was..."
Connect
@xavier90 Alzheimer's is tough on families. Does your grandfather have a care giver in place? Has the family considered placement in a Dementia care facility? I know these are tough choices, and your story isn't unusual for a family and a person with Alzheimer's. For some reason, the patient doesn't have normal inhibitions in knowing what is right and wrong and can be very aggressive with inappropriate urges. There can also be hydrocephalus pressure on the brain that can increase aggression and sometimes surgery is done to place a shut to relieve the pressure. Brain damage can increase aggression a lot. I saw that in my dad who had a traumatic brain injury. Over time, Alzheimer's is causing brain damage as well. I saw my father in law go through some similar changes, and he really did better in a nursing home. He became irritated easily and would hit people if he was angry. It is very frustrating for this patient to try to navigate his world when nothing makes sense anymore. As a family it helps to remember the person he was, and to know that he wouldn't choose to have this behavior if he knew what he was doing. If he is living alone, he is a danger to himself. A person like this can leave home and get lost, or wander out in the middle of winter and freeze to death because they don't realize they need warm clothes. How does he get groceries and medicine? He must be very lost without his wife and he seems to be looking for her in other people.
What does help is distraction with happy memories. If you get out old photo albums and talk about shared experiences you can help him remember without telling him that he can't remember anymore. That is frightening to a person to loose their memories and he may fight to try to prove he is right. It's easy to change the subject. My father in law didn't want anything to change anything in the house, and his wife wanted to redecorate the kitchen that had not been changed in 30 years. We got out wallpaper books and kept complimenting him about the pattern he picked out (not really, but we gave him credit) for the kitchen and the new countertops, etc. We made him feel good about it and after a couple months, he didn't mind the new kitchen and we kept complimenting him on how nice it looked and he just beamed. It was a win-win for everyone. At one point, he was getting too aggressive for the safety of his elderly wife, so at that point, he moved to a nursing home. The first one didn't work out because he was aggressive to other patients, and he was moved to a different home and did better there. I used to take my dog to visit him which he really enjoyed as did other residents.
Are you getting some counseling or a support group for yourself? Are you talking to other family members about this? Remember that he cannot reason about things like you can, and everything is new and unfamiliar to him. He will get angry, but what he needs from you is compassion. He won't remember things he has done. He lives in the moment. Music can help a lot to calm a person and it seems to help a lot with Alzheimers because those memories seem to last longer. It may help to play the old time music from when he was young. Sing songs with him and do everything you can to make him feel good about himself. Your life will be easier for doing that and there may be some fun in shared experiences.
Would you consider reaching out to your county's aging and disability resource center? Usually you can find a lot of information online and they have social workers who can help with recommendations. What has his doctor said about what his care should be? Has he seen his own physician recently? Perhaps he is already living in a care facility. I wasn't sure from your post and didn't want to assume that was the case. Have you visited any dementia care facilities? That may be an educational experience that could lead to better understanding for your family.