I feel your pain. Grief is so hard to handle by itself, but add in depression, and the emotions are almost too much to handle. The grief of losing my 19 year old cat sent me spinning into depression. I was already dealing with the fact that my husband lost his job, we lost our house, were having to move across country so my husband could take another job, had to sell many of our belongings before we moved, and now end up in a small condo that I hate. I felt like dying. Therefore, I immediately sought help. I've found another psychiatrist who has added another med to those that I am taking. I'm also going to consider grief therapy. You are not alone in what you are feeling. The pain is so intense, I know. Crying is a good release. You really have to feel the pain in order to get through this, but there is help. All you must be thinking is please make the pain stop. It will get easier with time. It will. Keep sharing with those that understand, like people on this board. It will get easier with time.