Just passed my 1 year of firsts since my husband died!

Hi Anne. My husband's one-year anniversary is coming up on March 31st. I'm struggling with the loneliness but am more at peace too knowing he's not suffering any more. It's so comforting to read your message; it encourages me. My path may be taking longer but I know I will get there.

Yes the first year is full of emotional ups and downs. I’m a planner and I knew what I was going to do for holidays. Some times being alone is good! On the day of my husbands death this year, I went to church and the back to church in the afternoon for a program with music. Yes I knew it would be sad but tears are part of healing. Allow yourself to heal at your own pace. Take care of you Deb!

@friendlyhelp Thank you for telling us how you have coped with your loss. Like you mentioned, everyone has their own timeline and process. I noticed you have been a long time member, but few posts. So, welcome, again, to Mayo Clinic Connect!

@dg0797 You are traveling a path so many of us here have taken. Good for you for recognizing it takes the time it needs, to heal. Do you have something in mind for marking that day, on March 31st?

You are both strong women!
Ginger

Thank you Ginger. One of the other thing I try to always keep in mind is “we never have any idea what battles others are facing!” So I try to always be kind and listen! To hear without answering, or judging.

Thank you for your kind words. Four of our five adult children and grand-son are coming in from Chicago. The youngest lives in Jacksonville. We will be spreading their father's ashes at sea. We didn't have a ceremony last year because of Covid, and our daughter was going through breast cancer treatment at the time. She recently was diagnosed cancer free!

So glad for you all about your daughter being cancer free.🎉🎉🎉

@dg0797 Deb, it will likely be a mixed blessings type of gathering, then, won't it? Having as much of the family together as you will have, no doubt some smiles and laughter, tears and memories. All good, all healing.
Ginger

Hello Deb, my husband passed 3-29-20 and with his 2 year coming up I find myself here looking for peace. The first year was so rough we didn’t understand Covid and only allowed 10 of our family at funeral I’ve always felt there was not complete closure. It was 4 months before our 50th anniversary but his pain had gotten unbearable yet he took it like the strong man he always was❤️ On his 1 year his sister flew up from FL to be with me and our family which was so lovely! I had kept busy sold our home which I hated but I knew there was too much yard work for me. Getting diagnosed with PBC and liver damage since has made me focus on my health as I don’t want to be a burden to our children. As of now I have no plans for the 29th just a few more prayers and maybe a walk along the river thankfully spring is coming and temps now in 50’s. Blessings to all!

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. This year would have been our 25th anniversary and we were planning on renewing our vows. I'm grateful that all our children (and grandson) will be driving to Florida for this milestone. Only two of our five got to say goodbye to their dad in person. I can't imagine how painful it was for you and the many other families who had a loved one pass during the height of Covid. Your strength gives me courage.

😘😘😘