Thank you, @colleenyoung, for tagging me in to theis discussion.

@miller03 While my story is not the same as yours, your thoughts and concerns, are very similar. Without going into a lot of detail right now, I offer you the following from my standpoint. I currently deal with an incurable blood cancer, failing kidneys, and a renal tumor.

First, be gentle on yourself. Find what brings you joy, whatever that may be. A hobby, a creative passion, nature, family, etc. Do what you need to do to be as healthy as you can. Exercise most days, even a stroll around the neighborhood at a pace you can keep up. Have a protein shake of some sort everyday; it will help pep up your energy, believe me! And raise some crucial blood counts. It’s okay to have a “lazy day” too, just not too many!

Second, get the facts you want/need to know, from reliable sources and your medical team. No sugar-coating for you, it sounds like [and sounds like me, too, here!]. Go in with questions written down, and get answers. Then, you have a great basis for decisions now and in the future. Cancer centers have amazing social workers who will help you clarify your thoughts, and understand how to talk with your family.

Talking to family/friends may or may not show they have the same thoughts/wishes as you do. As Colleen said, it is ultimately your decision. I feel my husband has a right to know what my wishes are. He knew going in to our marriage about my kidney issue, but cancer came along later. I choose quality of life over quantity.

Does this help you at all? I can respond further to you, if you’d like.
Ginger