Controlling the Anger and Sadness: My Neuropathy is Overtaking Me

Posted by lorirenee1 @lorirenee1, Oct 18, 2019

One of those days today where feet are just throbbing, can't find shoes to wear, can't be without shoes, loaded up on CBD, and finally not in so much pain. Just have real sleepiness from CBD. Now folks: Is this a way to live??????? How? I am such a healthy lady without this neuropathy. But it has overtaken me. Punch drunk on CBD. So messed up. I hate this. Crying. Don't know if I will ever really learn a coping strategy, deep down. How do we do this every day? This pain warrior is exhausted. Lori Renee

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@dbeshears1

I wish I found this group much earlier in my journey. I felt alone and in disbelief that it was possible to not know what causes something so dramatic and damaging to our bodies (and minds). I go through times when I think mean things: like neurologists must be the lowest in their medical class to graduate, lazy, choosing this field because they can easily check the “idiopathic “ box, push pills, and move to the next patient quickly. But I realize more now that it’s my anger of the situation influencing some of my ill thoughts.
We need our medical folks in a partnership with us in order to help. That’s what I am currently missing from mine. Like a lot of us here, I need compassion, I need a coach. I need a doctor who can feel my sadness of waking up weak one morning, and within 2 weeks hospitalized and starting life over in a wheelchair, like a newborn, no longer able to walk, run, bike, swim, or go to the bathroom by myself and wipe my own rear end. (I thank God for getting me to physical therapy where I can do that last thing now!) if you were in an auto accident, they’d have compassion, but since they have no clue what’s wrong, and in my opinion don’t look hard to find the cause, I feel ignored, or quickly expected to toughen up and live with the unknown. I was LIVING and doing my part to stay healthy- I was never one to knowingly do bad things to my body and expect doctors to fix things I was doing to destroy my health! I am a hard worker and will partner with them to make me better!
This group has taught me more compassion to our doctors despite my hurt. Maybe they’re as angry as we are. I strongly suspect insurance companies hold their treatment of us back, as if they won’t pay for much “exploratory “ tests unless there’s a 99% chance they’ll find something. While I’m trying to soften up and get better teamwork with me from my doctors, I admit I lay awake at night fantasizing that there’s something simple in my body causing this that can easily be fixed. Maybe a tiny little cyst on the spine somewhere, maybe a very strange vitamin deficiency of some sort, maybe one of the thousands of mosquito bites I’ve had in my life was really bad….. while I dream, I’m going to keep praying to the big Doctor above that one day we are all guided to answers to our mysteries.

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In many respects, despite what is said on TV, medical science is often in the Dark Ages. Cures are seldom the results of research. Only treatments, because there is very little money to be made from a cure. (Sorry about my venting, but I am very frustrated too.)

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@dbeshears1

Thanks so much Lori Renee - this is why I like this forum, we get coaching and ideas that our medical doctors don’t give! I am going to try the Benfotiamine for starts. I googled, and while articles talk specifically about it possibly helping diabetic neuropathy (which I do not have), I can’t see any harm in it. Doctors have been unable to answer my question if relief for diabetic neuropathy has similar results for idiopathic neuropathy… Since I was told 5 years ago I “may” have had a vitamin deficiency, but they don’t know which one, perhaps adding this B1 would be magical. Thanks sincerely for your input. Debbie

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Have you seen a Hematologist? The one I see is very good at monitoring and maintaining my vitamin levels.

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@kenc

Have you seen a Hematologist? The one I see is very good at monitoring and maintaining my vitamin levels.

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No, I gave not. Honestly never thought to, nor has a doctor ever suggested. I had been wondering about rheumatologist. When I see my PCP next month I’ll ask her for a best referral. Thank you!!

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Lori …..Instead of CBD, see if your doctor will prescribe OxyContin 5/325 120 pills (MAX 1 every 4 waking hours due to very real addiction risk (1 months maximum supply, take a little less if pain permits). Most doctors loathe to dispense opioids but this is highly effective painkiller which should be accompanied by over the counter stool softener to prevent hardened stool side effect. IT WORKS❗️❗️

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@jamesbstarkman

Lori …..Instead of CBD, see if your doctor will prescribe OxyContin 5/325 120 pills (MAX 1 every 4 waking hours due to very real addiction risk (1 months maximum supply, take a little less if pain permits). Most doctors loathe to dispense opioids but this is highly effective painkiller which should be accompanied by over the counter stool softener to prevent hardened stool side effect. IT WORKS❗️❗️

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James, Thanks so much! Lori

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I so agree with you. My "trauma" was also surgery and 6 months later this neuropathy pops up. I can no longer drive and I walk with aides. Still looking for a "cure". I'm not willing to give up yet. I have found a way to work around most things except transportation. Keep trying!!!

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@lorirenee1

Debbie, My best guess is that it doesn't matter the origins of your neuropathy. What does matter is if you happen to be low in thiamine. My reaction to the Benfotiamine was so quick that I imagine I had to have been low in thiamine. For me, the Benfotiamine made a giant difference. If I can help anyone here, I am happy. We get little from our doctors because there is no real treatment that is successful. Anything that has helped me has been from the people here. Good luck, Debbie! Lori Renee

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Hello folks, I have been reading everyone’s posts. I can relate to your neuropathy, I have been diagnosed with CIDP post COVID vaccine, it took almost a year for my care team to finally make the dx. For months I tried every B vitamin on the market, I tried NSAIDS, Lidocaine patches, zinc, magnesium you name it. I am an anesthesia provider and I became so frustrated, my providers just brushed me off and had no Idea what was going on or how to begin to treatment. After about 9 months of paresthesia and muscle weakness of my extremities and having difficulty walking, standing form a sitting position and severe joint pain I lost my patience with them. I demanded referrals to rheumatology and neurology, EMG testing, imaging, labs and a lumbar puncture. Neurology was great, he saw me read the EMG results and diagnosed me in 15 minutes. I started IGG infusions, Gabapentin , hydrochloroquine, and Mobic. I have also made several life changes, I have stopped all ETOH and really decreases sugars and carbs. I am not cured but I sure feel better. I might have a few days that are rough but I am much better. If you have any questions let me know.

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