Your wife's mind seemed to be elsewhere because it was. You were wrong to think the relationship was ok, the man just used your wife and she has paid a royal price I am certain. Maybe you should consider the reasons that your wife would possibly consider having a fantasy instead of being there with you. I don't think alot of men are very sensitive to the needs of their wives. I also don't think alot of men care more for their wives than they do their self interests. Put yourself in your wife's shoes sometime and think about it.