Hello @va1994 and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I am glad you reached out to share your story and to get help from this community.

I am not sure if your program(s) have ever shared this with you or not but my husband attended Hazelden in Minnesota, which is now merged with Betty Ford Foundation, and one thing that was talked about is how relapse is part of every addicts journey in some way and not to be ashamed of it so long as you can do the next right thing for your recovery.

The journey can be complicated but in terms of keeping it simple, what is the next right thing that you can do to get back to recovery?