1. < Just Want to Talk

Partner in hospital with COVID: It's the ultimate scare of my life

Posted by pleasedontgo @pleasedontgo, Nov 2, 2021

good evening, i guess we just say whats on our mind? Help. to tell the truth ive never been more scared in my life. my friend or actually my boyfriends co worker who ive never met although hes worked for this company for over 5 yrs said I sound high spirited, welp, im not. I think its because ive told myself to expect the worse but truthfully i am in such disbelief, horror and i dont know how to make it stop.
my boyfriend of 18 yrs is in the hospital with covid. He was having trouble breathing so he was admitted to icu for 2 weeks. he can barely talk and i visualize him as the fighter or the strong man ive known him to be. hes gone from icu to the fourth floor where he has his own phone now but cant seem to remember my number and he seems to be sleeping when i call the nurses station when im almost in a panic because i cant see him, take care of him or just, I dont know, something better than the engagement of the now communication which seems like none.
ive read about covid recently and the affects as well as the during and after math. this is down right the worse and sure hes not in icu anymore but i dont think hes in the clear and he seems so far from any kind of clear by far. hes 44 and im trying to prepare myself if he doesnt make it but come on, im fooling myself. I dont know how ive kept it together. I wish someone would tell me hes not gonna die. thats not possible as each person is different.
I just want to know hes not gonna die. im not ready, not that anyone ever really is, to let him go.
please, i not only need support and need to be told this is not the end.
bless each and everyone who is having a difficult time with covid and/or any other sickness. I know im not alone on my feelings but i feel alone.
I wish this covid thing affected everyone the same. not to see or hear a person going through any torture, no not at all. i just wanna know what to expect.
im sorry to anyone whos gone through this or anything unexpected. it doesnt seem fair. i know life isnt fair, this seems more unfair then the most unfairness imagined.

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Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Nov 8, 2021
In reply to @pleasedontgo "good morning and thank you for your hand and heart. I cant emphasis to any person..." + (show)
@pleasedontgo

good morning and thank you for your hand and heart. I cant emphasis to any person how nasty covid is.
I had to rush to hospital late afternoon yesterday because ricky was saying he was leaving the hospital. I had told ricky i needed to stay home cause the day b4 i got 2nd covid shot and my arm was killing me i felt a little fatigued and had a bad headache. ricky lost it though so nurse called me sounded like a panic cause she said ricky was leaving the hospital. i threw on some pants brushed my hair back wit 4 quick strokes grabbed my purse and flew to mercy.
right now i have questions concerns frustration wonderment and probably a little anger or hostility but ricky is my only reason if i cry.
i look at his face and hes so lost. hes so confused and its making him angry at times. I told him after 18 years this is our most trying scariest time. he actually mentioned getting the gun when he gets home and long story short nurse gave him some meds of which he choked on as he now chokes on everything and never eats his blended food saying its gross while everything looks like mashed potatoes just each has a different color and smell. he soon fell asleep.
I asked the nurse if i could bring our little dog in and she said yes. we recently lost 2 of our 3 dogs, he talks about pinky, dog, all the time. Ill give her a bath and doll her up first and put her little out fit on and after i get a new tire on my car we can go see him
pinky sleeps by the door when i say rickys name. she hates to be cold but she misses him so bad she lays where theres even a draft and dont seem to care. I mean she hates being cold but waits.
thank you becky for listening to me and responding.
a gently men named bob told me amazing finds just bought out a care facility and is selling hospital beds pretty cheap, well under 200 bucks so i called and a lady told me she would call me on sunday to see what she could find.
I really hope she meant what she said and helps me get this portion of the story done with so i can work on learning reading visiting reaching out listening asking and blah to this current situation. lol.
like i said, i will take care of business but with this whole charade, im dealing with everything i think like i should.
ricky is the only reason i cry if i do because of how frustraing this is for him and his confusion.
needless to say he fell asleep after he calmed down, Ill take our little pinky in to see him today and todays gonna be a great day.
have great day and pray the woman calls me back. they deliver also i just dont want to get to excited in case this doesnt get followed through
have a great day , adell

Jump to this post

@pleasedontgo you must tell me how your visit to Billy went when you took your dog! Was Billie able to settle down and realize he’s in the best place he could be? Your story of taking the dog to the hospital reminded me of an incident that happened when i was a nurse. We had a young-ish patient who wasn’t doing well. One day his girlfriend arrived wearing a large backpack. Only problem was that the backpack was moving! I knew that the patient had a small dog that he just loved, so i let her sneak into his room! Luckily, no barking. 🙂
Can you plan anymore pet visits?

REPLY
Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Nov 8, 2021
In reply to @pleasedontgo "good morning and thank you for your hand and heart. I cant emphasis to any person..." + (show)
@pleasedontgo

good morning and thank you for your hand and heart. I cant emphasis to any person how nasty covid is.
I had to rush to hospital late afternoon yesterday because ricky was saying he was leaving the hospital. I had told ricky i needed to stay home cause the day b4 i got 2nd covid shot and my arm was killing me i felt a little fatigued and had a bad headache. ricky lost it though so nurse called me sounded like a panic cause she said ricky was leaving the hospital. i threw on some pants brushed my hair back wit 4 quick strokes grabbed my purse and flew to mercy.
right now i have questions concerns frustration wonderment and probably a little anger or hostility but ricky is my only reason if i cry.
i look at his face and hes so lost. hes so confused and its making him angry at times. I told him after 18 years this is our most trying scariest time. he actually mentioned getting the gun when he gets home and long story short nurse gave him some meds of which he choked on as he now chokes on everything and never eats his blended food saying its gross while everything looks like mashed potatoes just each has a different color and smell. he soon fell asleep.
I asked the nurse if i could bring our little dog in and she said yes. we recently lost 2 of our 3 dogs, he talks about pinky, dog, all the time. Ill give her a bath and doll her up first and put her little out fit on and after i get a new tire on my car we can go see him
pinky sleeps by the door when i say rickys name. she hates to be cold but she misses him so bad she lays where theres even a draft and dont seem to care. I mean she hates being cold but waits.
thank you becky for listening to me and responding.
a gently men named bob told me amazing finds just bought out a care facility and is selling hospital beds pretty cheap, well under 200 bucks so i called and a lady told me she would call me on sunday to see what she could find.
I really hope she meant what she said and helps me get this portion of the story done with so i can work on learning reading visiting reaching out listening asking and blah to this current situation. lol.
like i said, i will take care of business but with this whole charade, im dealing with everything i think like i should.
ricky is the only reason i cry if i do because of how frustraing this is for him and his confusion.
needless to say he fell asleep after he calmed down, Ill take our little pinky in to see him today and todays gonna be a great day.
have great day and pray the woman calls me back. they deliver also i just dont want to get to excited in case this doesnt get followed through
have a great day , adell

Jump to this post

Hi Adell, I see you've been getting great support and tips from @loribmt @becsbuddy and @sueimn. It really helps to have people to talk to at any time of day or night, doesn't it?

You are obviously concerned for partner's health and his state of mind as well as acknowledging that you need support too. The situation is intense and frightening. You don't want to lose him. So, when he mentioned the gun that raises alarm bells. I'm glad that a nurse was able to help.

I'd like you to know about help that is available to you if and when you need it.

1) Call or text 988 at any time for help if a family member or friend is struggling.
This is the number for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline https://988lifeline.org. It's free, confidential, and available 24/7.

2) All guns in your home should be locked and unloaded, with ammunition locked separately. Are you able to do this?
Here are some helpful tips:
- 6 Ways To Safely Store Your Firearms https://www.nrafamily.org/articles/2021/10/13/6-ways-to-safely-store-your-firearms

3) Keep yourself safe. If your family member is agitated, threatening or aggressive, call 911 while making sure you and others are safe.

Here's some useful tips from Mayo Clinic that you may find helpful.
- Suicide: What to do when someone is suicidal https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/suicide/in-depth/suicide/art-20044707

REPLY
savevilma | @savevilma | Dec 12, 2021

Your posting communicates to me the sense of loss and uncertainty Ive been experiencing with my ex-wife who is now a COVID 19 long hauler.
She was diagnosed 0ct 12 and was hospitalized for a month and a half. She is now slowly showing some improvements. she can somewhat get around in a wheel chair.
We’ve had many er trips since she’s been out of the hospital 24 /7. I wish you the best but know your not alone.

REPLY
1 reply
Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Dec 17, 2021
In reply to @savevilma "Your posting communicates to me the sense of loss and uncertainty Ive been experiencing with my..." + (show)
@savevilma

Your posting communicates to me the sense of loss and uncertainty Ive been experiencing with my ex-wife who is now a COVID 19 long hauler.
She was diagnosed 0ct 12 and was hospitalized for a month and a half. She is now slowly showing some improvements. she can somewhat get around in a wheel chair.
We’ve had many er trips since she’s been out of the hospital 24 /7. I wish you the best but know your not alone.

Jump to this post

Welcome, Savevilma. I'm glad your ex-wife has you to help support her in this unexpected journey. Does she live on her own?

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