Hello @flanagan1 I'm Scott and I'm glad you found Mayo Connect and this caregiver portion of the community. I was my wife's caregiver during her 14+ year war with brain cancer and am sorry to read of your husband's health. I know each patient's path is unique, their disease unique to them, as is each caregiver's journey. I offer my sympathy and will talk a bit about what we learned and experienced hoping it might help. Please ask any questions you may have!

My wife and I also found ourselves in the position of her doctors advising that further treatments would not result in any improvement to her quality of life. Throughout her war she always believed that quality of life was far more important to her than quantity. That said, it didn't make the journey at all an easy one, but it did provide us with a guide to help us absorb the tough decisions and times (especially times of waiting and uncertainty).

I wish I'd have discovered why some folks get cancer and others don't, but that remains one of the mysteries of life for all of us. While it is very uncomfortable to think about and talk about, one of the most important things my wife and I did while she was still mentally able was get our estate/wills etc. in order. We also made sure our POA, advance directives, and MPOA were in order and added our adult children to her HIPPA approval forms so they could also speak directly with her doctors. She also gave a number of her favorite possessions to family and friends so she could explain why they were important to her, wrote down her desires for her remains, and designed the celebration of life she wanted. Down the road, knowing these were my wife's decisions was a huge help and lifted a burden from many.

I wish you Strength, Courage, & Peace