I understand your frustration and can only hope that peace will come to you. After my son's suicide last year, this problem has worsened. Lying awake during the night makes for a very long day, especially if you live alone. Just the simple act of going to bed at night knowing you will wake increases anxiety, as you well know. The anticipation of what is ahead makes one want to avoid even trying to sleep. Doctors do not seem to understand the severity of this problem. Sleep deprivation has set me up for even more problems, and I have not been successful at finding a doctor who takes this problem seriously. Please post here if you find a way to alleviate this problem.