Connect
Penile melanoma --Melanoma is NOT just skin cancer!
April, 2020 my “Significant Other” (Jerry-- Age 82) discovered a small black spot on his penis. It was biopsied and confirmed to be melanoma. He had a partial penectomy. March, 2021 he had another partial penectomy with lymph nodes biopsied. Melanoma was in one node which was removed and he was classed at stage 4.
Each PET scan showed numerous small nodules in his lungs that were too small to identify, but with each PET scan, they were a little larger. In April, 2021, he was considered NED (No evidence of disease). We were seeing a well known melanoma specialist in Dallas. The side effects of immunotherapy were discussed, and Jerry decided to decline treatment. The doctor agreed with his decision, based on his age and the side effects of treatment. . He asked about the recurrence and was told---it WILL come back, it is just a matter of when and where.
He was very sick and I took him to the ER on July 12, 2021, and had to cancel the routine PET and brain MRI scheduled for July 14. During the ER and hospital admission, a lung CT was done. The doc told me at that time that his lungs were full of cancer—he considered him terminal and said I would be looking at hospice very soon. Jerry hated the trips to Dallas, so I finally gave in and agreed to request an appointment with the local oncology group.
The doctor was pleasant and friendly, but I am not sure how much he knows about melanoma! He admitted that he had not read all the reports and that this was a difficult and unusual case. PET and brain MRI were scheduled. Results showed widespread mets—Lungs, thorax, mammary glands, possible colon, and started to spread to the bones. The nodules in his lungs had grown from 1.7 cm to 8 & 10 cm in 4 weeks time! The doc recommended Keytruda. He made immunotherapy seem like a walk in the park. Jerry had the port placed yesterday and will have his first treatment on Tuesday Aug. 31. He will have treatments every 3 weeks times 6—then go for another PET.
Strangely enough, Jerry still feels good. He does get tired easily and takes naps---not unusual at age 82. His appetite comes and goes, but he is maintaining his weight.
I think that if he experiences much in the way of side effects, that he will stop—he says he will not give up, but on the other hand, he will prefer quality of life over quantity.
My question is----what are the odds that this treatment will stop the spread???
Like
Helpful
HugInterested in more discussions like this? Go to the Cancer Support Group.
Connect
Oh gosh Texas, I hate hearing this and were right here at the holidays. What a thing to be going through, I'm so sorry. Cancer is just UGLY!
Who is your support group? I know you mentioned a grandchild, who else do you have around you to help support you? You have to take comfort in knowing your his angel and are doing everything you can for his comfort and care. I'm so glad your have hospice to help you now and aren't doing all this and trying to think through all this on your own. Its not good but better than trying to shoulder everything.
I pray for you and Jerry all the time and ask God for mercy for you.
Sadly, Diane
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsJerry was finally relieved from his suffering and passed on to his Heavenly home during the night.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Cancer robs us of too many of our loved ones and it’s especially heartbreaking right before the holidays. Knowing what a difficult time this is, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 ReactionOh God bless him…and you. I’m stunned by this, more to come later.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 ReactionI'm sending you a gentle embrace, Texas.
I know that you knew the end was near, but I'm sure this still comes as a surprise and shock. You were preparing yourself for the next leg of the journey with hospice care and then ... This was the case with my dad too. While there was a sense of relief for the end of his suffering, we were all shocked at the abruptness despite knowing it was imminent.
We're all here to listen when and if you need a virtual ear or shoulder.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 Reactions@texastribble I am saddened to hear this news, and trust you were able to say all you wanted to, to Jerry. As others have expressed, we are here for you, and hope you will reach out as you want/need. There is so much ahead of you, now.
Gentle hugs,
Ginger
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 ReactionOh, i so do wish we could be there to give you a hug. You have undertaken a difficult journey with such grace and have given of yourself to so many others. I’ll never forget the love and care you showed to Jerry! Now, go and take care of yourself, please. Becky
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsGosh Texas I was shocked to hear that this morning. I know this is unbelievably hard for you and pray for mercy for you. I've been through this a couple of times. The husband of my dreams died of a sudden heart attack in our kitchen at 56, after a long period of time I started dating a guy and after about 4 years he died of pancreatic cancer. I say this not to one up but to tell you I understand how it feels.
I could say something like everyone else, "he's in a better place now, no more suffering," which is true but when people would say that to me I wanted to retort that I didn't want him in a better place, i wanted him to eat crab legs on the patio with me!
It's a long road you've embarked on but I'm living proof that little by little it does get easier. You don't get over it but somehow incorporate it into your new normal. Just takes awhile to figure out what that new normal is. Scream, cry, laugh, hit something, have company, don't have company there are no rules in this grief thing. It's all about you now. I found an online grief group through AARP and would fire up my computer after work and blog with them until the wee hours. I called them my "grief group friends" and i relied on them because I felt no one else really understood what I was going through.
He was so very blessed to have you doting on him through all this. You moved heaven and earth to help him through treatments, doctors visits and subsequent opinions, feeling unwell, feeding him and responding to his every need. Going through his transition with him. You have to look back and feel good you were his angel on earth.
You can private message me in case you want to connect. I'll continue to pray for mercy for you. This is a tough one.
All my best, Diane
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsI’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this extremely hard journey. I hope you find peace ….💜
The difference in doctors! This morning I sent a note through the patient portal to 3 different doctors, saying that Jerry had passed so please cancel any future appointments. Later in the day, I checked the portal to see if there had been a response----not only was there no response, the portal had been taken down!!!!!!!! A few minutes ago, I received a sweet phone call from our primary doctor----Jerry had only seen him one time--just a get acquainted/new patient visit. This sweet man called to express his condolences, asked how I was doing, was I eating, sleeping, did I have family around. He is like a big soft teddy bear!
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 Reactions