Death of Husband: The hardest thing I've had to deal with

Thank you, Becky. My mantra has always been take one day at a time. That's all we can do.

Dear @lind827

I noticed that a year ago 11/21/20 you were expecting the birth of a grandchild,: Happy First Birthday, Baby!

I hope you are experiencing some relief from your grief. You went through some major changes. You were married to your beloved husband for 37 years. I would imagine you were taking care of him and that can must have been quite intense.
I don't know if you had experienced depression prior to his death.
Having experienced depression intertwined with grief, sadness and disappointment, I know how important talking to someone helps me.
Having someone who listens, can empathize or sympathize, and gives me a sense of trust leads me to hope...my most important part of healing.
I hope you have found someone to talk to. I hope you are receiving a sense of comfort.
I hope the empty spots left behind are being filled with nurturing and nourishing thoughts, memories, experiences and activities.
I can only speak for myself--within my survival toolbox, 3 expressions help me put things into perspective and help me derail ANTs...Automatic Negative Thoughts. I'm sure you have your own little says. Please accept mine with the knowledge that my intentions are sincere.
"This too shall pass."
"Time does help heal wounds."
"Hope is the joyful expectation of good things to come."

Shirley, how observant and kind of you to notice that @lind827 just celebrated her grandchild’s first anniversary. That first birthday is such a joy. So many first in that first year, as their are in the first year of grief.

Like you, my mom and I often used the phrase “this too shall pass”. I’ll also add another one “It is what it is”. I found this phrase when said with meaning helped with acceptance.

This group was just recommended to me.

My husband of 31 years died 1/15/21. I miss him more than I have words to describe. He was my best friend and the love of my life.
He’d been given that magical five-year cancer-free news. He’d been receiving treatments for aggressive prostate cancer. Ten days later, he collapsed and was transported to the hospital. On the third transport to hospital and almost bleeding out, his bleeding stomach ulcers were found and he underwent emergency surgery. Eleven days later he was dead.
I feel grateful that I was allowed to be in the hospital with him. And grateful for our years together.
I can sometimes feel his presence. Other times, there’s this big empty place inside. Re-building a life without him is sometimes tough.
Then, I was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer in May, four months after his death. Bilateral lumpectomies, radiation treatments and hormone blocker later, my prognosis is good. What a year!!

So sorry you have lost your husband. Mine died when he was 48 yrs old. It's really tough to go through but you will.

@joiful Just read your post.Im sorry for your loss .I know how you feel I lost my husband in 2000 after 29 yrs. The first year is the worst but with family and friends it will get easier but I still have my moments you never forget .Celebrate your days together keep them alive Do something for others on that day when you can yes it gets easier but you will have your moments Keep looking up

Thank you for your kind words. What a wonderful idea: do something for someone else on the day Doug died. Reaching out to others also helps the person reaching out.