Stage III Lung Cancer: Fear of what’s to come

Today, pain is the number one priority of hospice. These people are pros at keeping pain at bay. They work on air hunger and pain proactively. I have had very positive experiences on this front.
Your peace of mind is paramount.

Bill, that’s something lurking in the minds of most of us who are facing pushing up daisies from the underside. What will this be like and how painful…
I’ve come as close as humanly possible without actually passing through “the pearly gates” twice. Both times, it was unexplainably peaceful with absolutely no sense of fear or panic. Because of those two experiences, I really no longer have fear or anxiety of what’s to come.

I am relieved to hear that you’ve contacted Hospice. As Sue said in the post above, a hospice care person will come daily for support and will do their utmost to assure that you are pain and anxiety free, that you remain comfortable and will help you and your family any way they can. This allows you the chance to just focus on your family and the time you have remaining. No one can tell you exactly what you’ll experience but with all the family I’ve been with in their final moments, hospice made sure that there was a sense of calmness and compassion.

Is this a difficult conversation for family and friends? Or can you speak freely with them about what you’re facing?

I can speak freely however, I don’t know what to say because I don’t know myself. Do you wake up and suddenly your having severe pain in you back? Or, all of a sudden you can’t walk, or your right shoulder is very painful. What happens. When does it happen?

Oh gosh, I truly know how difficult this is for you and your relatives. Conversations about end of life are generally guarded or people just don’t know what to say. You’re fearful of not knowing what will happen, your family is equally fearful for you because they don’t want to see you in any pain, or suffering.
But Bill, from experience all I can tell you is that you have a choice to make right now. You can live your remaining days wondering about “What Ifs” or choose to live each day to the fullest, one moment at a time and whatever happens, happens.
There isn’t one person who can give you a minute by minute account of what’s going to take place. And honestly, it won’t change the outcome. So please try not to let this part of the equation of unknowns consume you.
You’re in contact with hospice. If you wake up one morning with a pain you don’t recognize and can’t tolerate, tell your hospice caregiver. If you have shortness of breath, you’ll be provided with an oxygen supply to keep you comfortable, you’ll have access to anxiety medications if needed. From my understanding with relatives and most recently my friend, who have passed with lung cancer and another with pancreatic cancer, there has been no pain. Just a gradual decrease in energy and weakness. Towards the end they have been sedated and very sleepy passing away very quietly with family present.

I’ve found this site from Cross Roads Hospice that discusses end stage Lung cancer. https://www.crossroadshospice.com/hospice-resources/end-of-life-signs/lung-cancer/

Many of us in Connect have faced terminal illnesses and we’re willing to take on the heavy conversations. So please don’t hesitate to call on us if you’d rather keep your chats with family and friends more light hearted.