@ltecato I understand your frustration and I saw that in my dad too. I don't think doctors want to put in feeding tubes and do this when the risk of swallowing food is greater than the risks the tube poses. Would things be different for you if you felt you had been given answers? Your choices are yours alone, so no one else's opinion really matters except that of a physician. One thing I can say about doctors is that they don't want you to loose hope. If they give you great details of what bad things could happen, you might give up. Doctors would rather encourage you as best they can and try to keep you out of trouble. Feeding tubes are just a crutch to get you by and they don't fix anything. They do require care, and keeping the connection on the skin clean. Remember, doctors are under a lot of stress, and asking pointed questions probably won't get you very far. It would be better to ask questions about proper care of the feeding tube and looking to solve a problem. We all need to play the hand we are dealt. I'm sorry about your mom and thanks for caring about my dad. It was tough work taking care of him at a time when I was in a lot of pain because of a spine problem that needed surgery. My dad eventually gave up because he wasn't able to do anything without assistance and he didn't want to live that way. I had to accept that even though it was hard to loose him.