Hi Mary - This is truly a difficult situation to be in. Especially isolated from your kids and others by Covid. Not knowing the path his pulmonary fibrosis will take makes it all harder.

I'm going to take a slightly different approach here - you have been taking care of him for several years, and you are tired and now scared by the new diagnosis. You said you don't know what to do for him - let me turn this around - what are his current abilities? Are there things he can do to care for you, and ease the load on you?

Sometimes when people are ill, we think we are being kind by taking over every possible task. I was guilty of that too, when caring for my Mom - I would race to her apartment after work to do her laundry before going home to do my own chores (or dumping them on my husband.) One day I arrived to find (store bought) cookies and tea on the table, and a smug smile on her face. She said "Sit down and visit. Then you can make my bed. The rest of the laundry is done and put away." She explained that she had attached a shoelace to her laundry basket, used her walker to pull it to the laundry room down the hall, washed and dried everything, then dumped it on her bed and folded it or hung it up. She said it was her exercise for the day, and I shouldn't "help her to death." From now on, I was only to do for her what she couldn't do anymore (like make the bed) and save a little time and energy to visit her.

Wow! Maybe you can gradually hand some routine chores to your husband. Either give back stuff he used to do, or tell him "I've been doing [dishes] (folding laundry, dusting, mopping...) for 50 years - it's your turn now." Show him what to do & how to do it - then LET GO - it won't be done your way, but it will be done.

If he's a computer guy, give him your list and have him order groceries on-line, and pick them up. Or get him to start a regular group email with your kids, asking them to each reply or have their kids reply, at least once a week - maybe even attaching photos or videos.

His time will be occupied, he will be contributing, and you will get a break. Maybe even have time and energy left for a drive and a picnic, a walk at the beach, or a nap.

Do you think any of this can work for you?
Sue