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Ashamed: I think about (and plan for) dying. Do you?

Lung Cancer | Last Active: Aug 5 8:32am | Replies (213)

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@IndianaScott

Hello @tahoerox99 I read your post with interest. Thankfully my wife and I did our final arrangements planning while she was still mentally able. It may not be for everyone, but here’s what we did.

We started with our medical decisions — HIPPA, DNRs, etc. Then we moved on to our basic final arrangement desires, leaving the who, when, etc. to the survivor. So we did things like wanting cremation, a celebration of life (no funeral), etc. She even picked her songs, eulogists, music, where to spread her ashes, etc. without worrying about what company would do it. She then gave several meaningful gifts to family and friends while she was alive and could share their meaning and stories with each recipient. Then we did the legal stuff — wills, marital trust, estate plans, POAs, and durable medical POAs.

It was hard, especially to start, but incredibly valuable to her, me, and our children.

Strength, Courage, & Peace

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Replies to "Hello @tahoerox99 I read your post with interest. Thankfully my wife and I did our final..."

@IndianaScott Your last two lines say it all. @tahoerox99 There is a lot of wisdom in Scott's post.

I was involved in probate court proceedings and saw how families can be left with no clear idea what direction to take, what to do. If a person has specifics, having things down in writing will make the grieving process easier. And in my father's case, he had things expressed, in writing, but some were not as detailed as he was wont to do, which left interpretations by family members. Those interpretations were not always the same!

We do not always have the opportunity to pick our "expiration date", but we do have the choice to be prepared.
Ginger

What happens to people like me that have a life insurance policy that wouldn't even pay for the urn? I have no estate, just a 1-bedroom apartment. I have no money to pay for cremation nor does my family. What do people do when they face this problem and where do I start to turn that around now with life insurance, IF, I can even get it now? I have things written down on who gets what but nothing is in a will. I don't even know if my credit cards have insurance on them to be paid should I die. I made some incredibly bad mistakes about my financial situation and now I'm paying for that and don't know how to correct it at this point. Any suggestions would really be appreciated.

Grace be with you,
Shirley