upset caregiver: what do these results mean?

Yes, we have liked the Internalist. No, didnt think to use my cell phone and record. His daughter/ family don't talk to me.,unless my husband is with me. Or they want something. We been together since 2003, I'm always been the outsider to them.

Basketcase this afternoon

Tell me about what caused that to happen.

@scared2 Do you have the time to make a cup of tea and relax for 15 minutes? It may help you just look at things. If you can get to the patient portal, look up what the dr said. Ask for specific size of tumors or growths. Just like anything else, different people have different ways to compare things. When will your husband see an oncologist?

Quitting smoking can be a tough thing to do. If he decides to start again, he will be in the majority. Perhaps he will want to try a nicotine patch.

Are you saying he told his daughter about the cancer? If she isn't talking to him, she may be processing this news, and struggling with her emotions. It's never easy to hear a parent has a bad illness, you know. Give her time, and I hope he does, also. Hopefully, she come around soon.

Take care of yourself, too.
Ginger

Its early evening, up the only one up. And crying scared. I wish the test was this week not
next week. I feel like I'm lost on a island. I know I'm suppose to be strong for him, and cry. But each day I get more scared.
Hes the love of my life.

Move over. 🙂 I awake too and sitting on the couch with you (virtually). Do you feel that squeeze? That's me holding your hand. Waiting is the hardest, second only to worrying about the unknown. I learned a wonderful saying from someone else on this forum "Don't borrow from tomorrow's worry."

I know you're scared. You can be scared and strong. The two are not mutually exclusive. He's the love of your life, your life partner and you're scared of losing him. But you're also strong. You are going to accompany him to his appointments, you're going to be the extra set of ears, you'll take notes and ask questions. You can be sad and strong.

Have you talked to an oncology social worker? They can help find support services. You do not need to shoulder this alone.

@scared2- Oh, I know this feeling! I heard a phrase the other night that I felt really described how I felt when your life or a loved one's is in peril: You stop pretending or dreaming that your life is one way and then bam, you can't pretend anymore. Everything seems like it's at a standstill until that next test result, the next scan the next blood test. It exasperates all your fears- But there is hope for good results.

I can only tell you what my husband did when he felt overwhelmed with fear. He would look for me and hugged me as hard as he could without hurting me and he cried. I let him and sometimes I'd cry too. It was always such a great energy release and helped unclog those awful feelings, until the next time.

I felt that it was such a gift that he could show me this much love. My Dave is also the love of my life. We just celebrated our 40th anniversary and also learned this year that there is a good chance that he has some form of lung cancer, with 3-month scans.

There is no law that says that being strong for someone is a part of cancer. Cancer makes people fearful, makes people sad and angry. I find that strength comes from love and it seems like you have that covered!

This morning g he told me was going to ask. Of cigarettes.I went quiet. Then he said one more pk won't hurt. I felt like listing all the people who had cancer., but instead bit my tongue and cried. I also said I didn't want to lose him. Then he told me I cry over everything.
Yes I do cry easy
But this isn't everything. This is SOMETHING! What does he expect? To laugh and act like nothing is wrong?

No, I haven't talked to any one. Didnt know any were available

@scared2 Nicotine is a powerful addiction, and even though he said he quit [last week?] it still will play on your mind. Many times people use cigarettes for a crutch as they process emotions, or as "something to do". Would he consider chewing on a mint toothpick, or a straw? Going for a walk when he wants a cigarette, or some other form of exercise? I am pretty sure his medical team would not endorse him smoking again.
Ginger