upset caregiver: what do these results mean?

@sacred2-Good morning- or afternoon depending on where you are. I have been away from talking with you because we just went through a hurricane and lost power. Then I went and had stitches out from a small procedure on the top of my foot. I've never seen such tight stitches, nor felt them!

Information is power, as I have written before. You and your husband can use that to help keep calmer. Since this isn't his first cancer familiarity should make things easier. I find that as I go on, knowing some things and the way they work lessens fear because I know somewhat, at least, what to expect.

A story- When I first was told that I needed lots of tests prior to my surgery I was so unfamiliar with them that I panicked. I'm really surprised that I didn't have a problem with all the valium I took. I suppose that my fear was more than what I took! Anyway, I have had some of them repeatedly and even though I hate them, I know what to expect even if my fear of the results stays the same. Does this make sense?

I am so glad that you are sharing all of your fears and experiences on Connect because I'm positive there are people reading your story and think, that's me! Some people just don't want to post, but they relate and find comfort that they aren't alone and learn about what is going on!

Again, I'm sorry that I have missed a few days. But I'm back and look forward to more of your posts.

Do you share some of your posts or ours with your husband? Would he like to come aboard?

So sorry to hear about the hurricane. Hope all is ok. You have to care of your life first.

I have judt talked to my husband at his job. I asked him if he thought any more of telling his family.
His reply "no, nothing for sure to tell". And that he hasn't had the biosopy yet. My reply, biosopy was for what type it is and best treatment for it. He, said it was never confirmed. I'm trying to remain calm, here. How did he miss it, ? Dr never came out and said, yes. Its cancer. 95 % sure., it is. It has the markings. Or have missed I it? Or is he in denial?
Help
Scared2

He doesn't know, I'm in this group
He would think I shouldn't put on the internet.

Do you have his test results? All of his test results should be in a file so that as he goes along and seems confused you can show him what you are talking about. Was he like this with his first cancer?

Being in denial is a pretty good guess and a natural one for a cancer patient. I don't think that I was in denial as much as I didn't want to think about it. I respect your husband's privacy and I respect your need for support outside of your family.

Is the work that your husband does very strenuous? Can he handle it all right now?

We don't have any tests results yet.
No, we were both scared. I was the one continuing to far apart. He was pretty solid for me, kept telling we will get through it.
His job isn't strenuous, delivers materials for an energy company. Drives the truck.
I sure hope this isn't any worse then we were told. Hes my whole world.
Scared2

I know.

@scared2 i know you must be scared and confused and upset about this whole scenario that you are going through. But what i get from your postings is strength. No matter what, you keep facing the problem. And you are doing it by yourself because your husband doesn’t want to face it right now. If he wonders about your being on the internet, just explain that its all anonymous, no one knows who you are or where you live. We’re just here to support you and help you through this tough time.
Do you see yourself as strong?

I think that you are doing pretty well. I sense from your words that you and your husband can and will get through this whether the diagnosis is cancer or not.
Let us know how you are as you go through this.

Just got back from my husband's Internalist. I'm a total.mess again. He used the word large when the other drs said small. He mentioned it may not be localized.,when none of the other drs used that term. He asked if the other drs thought was cancer, so d ones he. He didn't give a good picture. I sure hope the specialist are more correct. He finally quit smoking. And he did tell his daughter, she hadnt talked to him a since. And he regrets telling her.

Scared2

Hello @scared2 I’m sorry that you’re feeling “a total mess” again. Yes, doctors can forget that patients and families hang on every word and make comparisons with other words they have heard. And so much of what is said in health care is a foreign language. Do you use your phone as a recorder so you can replay what was said at a later time? Have you always liked and trusted this Internist (internalist)? He may just be expressing his frustration about your husband’s refusal to quit all this time. And his daughter is expressing her grief/sadness/anger over the cancer and smoking issues also. I’m sure she would like a chance to talk.
Can you call his daughter?