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Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself
Caregivers | Last Active: Nov 12, 2023 | Replies (707)Comment receiving replies
I am very sorry to read this. I am one year older than you and find myself also in a very difficult situation where his family does plenty to criticize and nothing to help. None of them are willing to do any of the things I am “supposed to be doing.” It is truly a dreadful situation to find oneself in. May God help both of us
Replies to "I am very sorry to read this. I am one year older than you and find..."
Perfect example of how to make a hard situation even worse - criticize the caretaker, but don't offer to take over, or even to help.
@jugar and @gingerw are absolutely right about taking care of yourself, and finding what we call a "family of choice" to help you through this.
I was talking to my cousin's daughter yesterday, who cares wonderfully for her Mom - she is only 36, and has had to turn away from friends and family who criticize her for doing it - suggesting she is somehow shortchanging her own daughter. We assured her that her daughter is learning a wonderful life lesson, is not at all neglected, and she should turn to those of us who support her & her Mom for help and reassurance.
And we reassured both cousin and daughter that they were absolutely RIGHT to turn care of alcoholic/abusive stepfather over to his kids and walk away to preserve their lives and sanity. Even though they both lost significant financial resources by doing it.
I'm so sorry you find you are in this situation. There are many here who wil buoy you up - please feel free to visit whenever you wish!
Sue
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My prayers are with you - truly. I am blessed in that I have family who understand and support the choices I am making. I feared I would not have that and was humbled at their grace and mercy. I encourage you to create and lean on others in your village. God will provide you support through people you may never have thought to reach out to. I know that likely is not how you normally handle things - I am the same way. But if I am learning if I don't lean and take the support that is offered, I will never survive ... and I've been surprised at who God has placed in my world. Old friends, current friendships? Neighbors, support groups, church? Do you have a hospice team - they have all avenues of support. That's my next step.
Hopefully through your process you can find one or two people you can connect with. Just being able to talk, laugh, cry and be 'normal' is so important. Journal journal journal ... I find writing incredibly cathartic (clearly). My prayers are with you.