I am in a similar situation, my wife has a history of cystitis which now has progressed to a constant soreness of skin that means sex is impossible. The problem has been that she doesn't want any touching or intimacy "in case I want more" so there is just hugging (a bit)....we also have a toddler so we row a lot and the resentment surfaces often because I am not allowed to mention this situation. I feel constantly on the edge of rage and sometimes throw stuff around to vent it, which I am ashamed of, especially in front of my young son. However, there is no one to hear my side and, while I feel a lot of sympathy and try to help as best I can, she thinks I don't care and my anger is a sig of that uncaring attitude. Occasionally we've had mutual massages which calm us both down and feel good, but soon the situation crashes again, the nagging starts, the feeling of a life sentence for us both.
I would be happy (happier) with some kind of intimacy but can't see a way out of it. By the time anyone figures out what this condition is, I'll be too old (I'm over 50) and she'll be too sick of me. I'm pretty desperate most of the time. Cheating is out, I have no appetite for that. I would love someone to care though, that would be nice....
Anyway, good luck, if you can get the mutual massage once a week to stick I reckon that's the best way.