I try to take comfort that my only child is a very successful person - career-wise, financially and family-wise - even though he has no time for or interest in me. He was in college when my fibromyalgia symptoms began to worsen, so he's never really seen me suffer. He believes that I'm a healthy, active person like the rest of the world. Because he is a 7-hour drive away, I let him believe what he wants. The sad part is that I think he feels like I'm neglecting him - as I've had to cancel more trips to visit him than I've ever made. His only limitation is his time, and my limitation is my health. I don't have the stamina to drive 7 hrs. nor do I wish to be on an airplane with one bathroom when IBS often results from travelling in pain.

Let me first congratulate you on your sons success children often don’t realise how much their parents have put up an effort in raising them unfortunately everything done for them is taken for granted now you have to choose between yourself and your son he is fine and you are not so in my opinion you aught to prioritise yourself and stop feeling guilty of the cancellation of trips pray for his well-being and focus on your health you have done your duty by him and now get some me time God bless

I always thought that I was a very good mother. I gave everything I had to raise them the best I could. I dedicated all my life to them. I thought that they were happy, until they got married and started getting older. The criticism is depressing. After covid and political differences everything became worst. I think that they also have unsolved issues and they seem to blame me for everything. One of my closest daughters have become very angry and changed after she lost a baby ten years ago. She never got therapy for her loss. My other daughter is very sweet, but is constantly criticizing me about everything too. It's exhausting. Is about what I eat, everything I say or do. I really never expected to find myself here.

I have a son who's learning disabled and dyslexic. He got a virus called Kawasaki. It damaged his heart and I have to take care of him. My husband was diagnosed with dementia and after 13 years they took away the diagnostic. He is pretty absent and doesn't get involved with any issues. He was passive, but now with medications is worth. So, I'm left with listening to the complains and dealing with two sick people that live with me. I also have Lupus, Sjogren's, and Raynaud. I think that they don't want to be left with taking care of any of us. One of my sons had an issue and we discussed it openly and he changed his attitude towards me. While they were growing up I thought that I always gave them the opportunity to express themselves. They resent that my son is always with me. He doesn't have a family and lives with us. It's a very difficult situation. I don't have money to go to a therapist every month, since my dentist is charging me a lot of money to fix only a side of my mouth. I guess that it is what it is, unfortunately.

I’ll try to keep it short. Husband & I married ages 45 & 48; no children. Adopted a 6 yr old boy from Russia. Lots of problems ( mother was alcoholic etc). He left school at 18 , moved to another state as he had met a 16 yr old online & told her parents we were horrible etc. They let him stay as long as he attended school, he did graduate & then they told him to leave ( found out what he was really like ). After a few years of more problems he was in & out of our house, jail ( minor stuff). Married during Covid, wife’s idea to get pregnant one month later. Now not living together but have a child custody agreement (not legally separated or divorced ). Wife will not let us see granddaughter now 2-1/2. She doesn’t know us at all. Our son works at a good job, but financially strained due to child support etc. Tells us he contemplated suicide, very seldom tells us anything ( lives 70 miles away, doesn’t drive). He did tell me he has seen a doctor us on anti depressant & adhd med. Does it ever end?

I’m in a similar situation. My three daughters are not talking to me . My Son is very supportive and I talk with him at least once a week.
I’m depressed and sad. I’m in a lot of pain every day. My life has taken this turn where as I can barely walk with a walker. I’m 70 and feel 90. Last November I was struck with RA and I have had Crohns for 25 years. My life feels over.

When they are little they step on your toes; when they are grown they step on your heart!

What a heartbreaking problem to face. I have found peace by remembering the times was not a "perfect parent" and forgiving myself - I did the best I could. During therapy, I also apologized to my daughter for not recognizing her side. Eventually (without pressure ) they seem to migrate back.
Sue

I have as similar problem. I have post on before. My son moved home in dec. With a 40 year old woman. He's 27. She I believe is on opiods. The 2 of the don't sleep for days, wonder around at night , don't pay for anyth ing. They don't like rules, they fight and yesterday had an opp officer come as they had a fight at a car wash. I have done so much for him . He recently went thro a horrible separation lost his 2 kids , got a duo which in Canada cost $12,000 plus. Paying for his insurance .etc...I recently told her not to be on my property. I thought it would give him a safer home at least.. I'm at a loss......

My previous story coming to an end, son called to say his wife is divorcing him, he was served papers. Unfortunately she wants full support, child custody and maintenance ( alimony); ( they are living apart without a legal separation but child support papers, which he pays as well as partial payment for daycare). She will not let us see our granddaughter. She is supporting herself with pole dancing despite having 3 licenses for beautician, barber & manicure work. Son cannot afford lawyer and can’t use legal aid services because she is! Despite my reservations I told him get this mess resolved asap.

These stories are not a "nice" read. But children do not come with instructions and you can only do the best you can. My youngest son and his family have thrown me under the bus. There is no communication. However I still have a close relationship with my older son. Go figure. I now know why I made mistakes. During grief counselling my therapist diagnosed me with complex PTSD due to childhood abuse from my mother. I finally got the courage to leave her and moved far away. I call myself a survivor but yet I made mistakes because of her still being in my head. I sent my youngest son a long email and acknowledged the mistakes I made and accepted responsibility for them and apologized. But still this did not help. On the other hand, when I shared my diagnosis with my older son, he was so supportive and just asked why didn't you tell us? A cousin of mine shared with me that her middle son and wife have broken off communications with her. It all hurts and we do what we can but it still hurts.