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Thank you for remembering me. I have so many conditions that I do not remember the one you are referring to. Ask me again. In the mean time you caught me at a good time. My heart is racing as I try to make a commitment as to have two heart operations. One of the problems is A-Fib. (Heart races irregularly fast and slow. Problem for heart attack or stroke from blood clots The other is calcification closing the artery. The Watchman device is a good way to go for the A Fib but: At age 83, over an hour under general anesthesia, using dye that is harmful for my already overloaded kidneys might have me on dialysis, continuing on with my fourteen other health issues including three autoimmune diseases, Rheumatoid and Psoriatic arthritise's diabetes hypothyroidism, glucoma (Low vision) , PTSD, Bipolar, and a wonderful anemia called Pancytopenia "It is always so cold". etc, etc, I am tired of being strong. I am now very, very frightened, extremely frightened. Of course I have thought of suicide (Many times) but keep pushing it to the side. So if I do not have the operations and let things happen naturally W H A T I F ? I instead of having a heart attack and dying right then and there: What if I have a stroke and am PARALYZED? That is a no no. Dammed if I do and dammed if I don't. Do not worry. It is true that at this point in time suicide fits the bill, but not yet. Perhaps If I do the Watchman operation I will die from that and then all is settled. >I am making sense but it seems I am going in circles. And then the doctor who wants to do this operation has a god awful attitude (She thinks her s..t t does not stink.) Sooooo I am offered another doctor with a staffer who has a splendid concerned attitude Some how she without trying but just by talking to me I am calmed but still apprehensive, I will see this new doctor in June. Please do not judge me to harshly as I am but just another pitiful human being. Crying again.
Replies to "Thank you for remembering me. I have so many conditions that I do not remember the..."
Hi Peach, I'm so glad that @hopeful33250 reached out to you and that you have returned to update the community.
Weighing the risks vs benefits of surgery is always challenging. Obviously, with multiple chronic and complex conditions the choices become more complex to consider and there's the added burden of existential questions about quality of life and purpose of living. It sounds like you have decided that now is not the time for assisted death. However, choices for health and life are unclear and there no perfect choice. Have I got that right?
I know that @gingerw can relate to considering options that possibly improve one health issue while also potentially damaging or worsening a kidney issue.
What options are available to you besides the Watchman device to help control a-fib? How is the calcification of the arteries being managed?
It doesn't matter your age. Mental health effects everyone and is the farthest from forgiving when you have additional health issues. I am in the same boat, only you've been struggling for a few more years than me 😉 I'd be happy to have a private conversation as a stranger helping another stranger in need. I've been less hopeful than I usually am and I don't want to do it anymore. Some days are fine but others I'm just fed up. Its tiring having to take care of yourself and all of these things you didn't ask for, but everyone is here for a reason and I believe I came across this post because I was supposed to reach out. We are BOTH going to get thru this. Love, always.
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Hello @peach414144
Thanks for the update. I am sorry to hear that you are dealing with so many health problems and difficult decisions. This can create a great deal of anxiety and stress.
I am very glad to hear that you will be seeing a doctor who is kind and a good listener. The fact that you said you were calmer when she talked with you is a very encouraging sign.
I can tell by your post that you are seeing the worst-case scenario for all of these different decisions. I think it might help if you try to visualize a happier ending to the upcoming procedures and think about how much better you will feel afterward.
Do you think you could paint some better pictures of more positive outcomes?