that's a good idea about calling her. I generally don't call her because she has was mean and has not been receptive to calls. She doesn't answer any form of communication until she has her ducks in a row, she literally cannot be caught off-guard. I have waited for her to call me when she wants. She likes to be in control......all the time. She didn't improve her behavior until I called it on her while we were at the reception after the funeral of her father and my youngest son, who died just 2 days after his dad. While she was angrily telling me to "go home, just leave" (she lives in another state.I stopped her and told her that I was no longer going to walk on eggshells and that she would never be allowed to speak to me with disrespect again now that her father had died. Other people were around so she immediately stopped putting me "in my place" where she wanted me. She hasn't treated me with contempt again when I could see it. What I know about contempt is that once someone has contempt for another it is rarely overcome. It is a very nasty destructive feeling. I think I'll email to let her know if she would like to talk or open up to me about how she is with me or about anything that I will be available, able and willing. Thank you for the suggestion.