It most definitely is an issue and one that needs to be discussed. There are alternatives to intercourse that should be amenable to both parties.

Yes they should, because I am paralyzed that don’t mean I can’t meet the needs of my partner

This is unfortunately a reality for many. There’s no one solution or magic wand. The reality is that no matter the circumstances the partner that is suffering from the inability to make love to their ill spouse will experience emotions similar to those you go through when grieving the death of someone close. If it’s possible to even spend a few moments a day holding hands, or sitting by one another it can make all the difference in the world. The healthier mate should try to refrain from entertaining all the why can’t he/she just do this or just do that and how hard would it be to just do X or Y this only leads to further frustration. Substituting pornography and or masturbation can also be a slippery slope as you don’t want to become your own best lover or have a warped view of what intimacy is. I wish, hope and pray every day for the ability to continue to NOT become more saddening but what is essentially a loss on the level nearly that of death or divorce. Love to all. Hang in there. Don’t blame. Don’t shame. Don’t give up.

Yes. I wrote a long story about lack of sex in my own marriage.
I am going to write it again to explain things better.
I hinted that there were things about both of us that factored into our story.
I knew it would just get longer if I went into all of it.
In the story I forgot to mention that I felt like she was running out my clock out.
I think I made a pretty
good effort at not being vindictive despite being frustrated that she did not understand how miserable I felt some times.
The issue is partially resolved on its own due to a lot of reasons.
If you saw my comment I ended it with a suggestion that might have helped or made it worse but I think it warrants a discussion.
I suggested that having a same sex surrogate to talk to but also masturbate with might be a way to take the edge off.
Lots of people weighed in but the reception was mostly unfavorable.

I’m a 65 yo very happy married man that loves his wife but can not have sex due to prostate cancer.
My wife is a very beautiful 63 yo with great body. We use to have wonderful sex. So I did tell my wife she has my permission to have sex with other guys if the situation ever came up.
I feel she shouldn’t be punished because of my ED. So yes it’s ok for your wife to reach out if makes her feel better, and will make me feel better as well, knowing I help her to feel good