Trish I am the exact same boat. Especially for the Chemical dependancy issues. And oddly enough you have posted this on my 51st birthday. We have days that it is just almost impossible to deal with. Mine isn't quite into failure but is showing serious signs of it quickly impending. He was sent to an Onocologist/Hemotologist this past week due to the results of his last blood work. It was outrageous and like nothing I have ever seen. Low white counts and he had a horrible tooth abcess that day, Low red counts, 17K platelets, and his PT INR above 12 for the first time. Also something with his gobulin is really out of whack. He has done two complete and one partial round of INF & Ribavirin for his Hep C and relapsed after clearing the viris both times he did the complete 26 week program. His docs will NO longer offer any treatement for the Hep C. So I guess it is bascally a waiting game from here.

I pray to God everyday for the strength to deal with it as my health isn't all that great. I have had to take an early medical/disability retirement four years ago and many of my issues are left untreated due to his issues taking priority. I am in physical pain every day and night. Although I have some medicine to help with relief from the pain I dare not take the full dose for fear of him needing me and my being incapacited from the medication.

As much as anything is his refussal to do as his doctors have told him he MUST do. He does as he darn well pleases and it galls me to no end. Then expects that the minute he gets into trouble for me and all his doctors to drop everything and immediately react to his needs. He has little to NO consideration for me or anyone else and at times behaves like a two year old at best.

Trish just know you are NOT alone in your plight. I would love to maintain contact with you and see what idea we might come up with for coping mechinisims as I am just about to the end of my rope.