Petrena, Hi, My name is Eileen and I also lost a son. He was one month old. It's been 27 years ago. For 10 years I blamed myself. I had counseling for years. Know I think of him every day. what he looks like and what he may have been in this life. I did have 2 more children. I believe it was Gods will because I don't think I would had more. My daughter was a miracle because I had a tumor but 3 months later the tumor was gone. Then my daughter had a daughter, my daughter was told she would not be able to have children. Thank God doctors can be wrong. Then I had a son and he just had a son one year ago. I'm sorry about your great loss the way I deal with it is he's always a part of me and waiting for me when my time is to go home with God. I will pray and I will hold you in my arms. Eileen