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I am a 54 yr old female considering a Total Mastectomy without any breast reconstruction. Divorced for 10 years and have not pursued men since the divorce. That Sexual phase of my life is over. I have been Ccup-busty since 5th grade…DD cup by 8th grade. Has anyone reading this been thru this and feel good in their flat chest? Or did you look back and regret your decision? I see no purpose for them in my life any longer. Thanks for any reflective feedback.

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Replies to "I am a 54 yr old female considering a Total Mastectomy without any breast reconstruction. Divorced..."

I just had a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. I opted for the reconstruction because I was told that my chest would be concave and that my belly would look large and that look would bother me. I was told that my clothes would fit oddly. I am not talking about a radical mastectomy, just a simple mastectomy. I chose diep flap reconstruction so I could use my own tissue. You do have to have some extra tissue for this. I did not want implants as they can cause problems. If you do consider reconstruction, be sure to find a plastic surgeon that is excellent at what he does. I have seen pictures of mammo and reconstruction visual failures. Also, you do not seem interested in a relationship. I am not either. I had lumpectomies in both breasts and discussed mastectomy with my doctor at that time and he discouraged it for the reasons above. I did end up with mastectomies because I found out I had a genetic mutation and I wanted to do whatever I could to not get it again.

I had a bilateral mastectomy 12 years ago with a deip flap reconstruction. I did not get the nipples, as there was no desire to. But it did a lot for my mental state, and this is something to consider. I waited about a year after the mastectomy to have the flap,done. Don’t feel rushed into making this decision.

@keiracancer, @sandyjr
Hi Keira and Sandy – I did not have complete mastectomies but went from quite larger than DD down to an A which is so very different for me being under 5 feet. Yes, my stomach now protrudes, but I am also overweight and hope to start a weight loss program. The plastic surgeon did a magnificent job reshaping the affected breast (having undergone two surgeries for two different types of breast cancer). I have no regrets and actually feel free with no more shoulder or back pain and can go around without a bra! The way I look at it is breasts did their job nursing my babies and no longer needed. As far as intimacy, that seems to be over for me as the lack of estrogen causes pain, but my husband is very understanding in that respect.

At the age of 78 when having single mastectomy reconstructive surgery was not discussed for a variety of other personal health issues but it was also of no interest to me. Have had large breasts DDD since a very young age, and never considered them an asset. Was surprised at the amount of chest wall gone after surgery but am happy with my lopsided flatness. Wishing you well in your upcoming surgery.

I had bilateral mastectomies and originally thought I would not have reconstruction (because of my irradiated skin, I’m only a candidate for DIEP flap reconstruction but that can be done anytime later) then changed my mind to thinking I would—although my surgical oncologist wanted me to wait three years post-surgery to do it. Then a year later I had three other completely unrelated surgeries. My total of five surgeries in two years in addition to chemo and rads resulted in a cumulative toll that was pretty bad. After that I decided I was FINISHED with surgery so I’ve opted for no reconstruction. (I want to emphasize that the mastectomies themselves were not bad at all.)
I have no regrets. I am married, and at age 66 I am now four years past all treatment, although I am still on a hormone blocker. If I want “easy” I go “flat”; if I want “curvy” (like at my son’s wedding) I wear prostheses. Most of the time I go “flat”. I’m happy.

Choosing to go flat or to get reconstruction is such a personal decision – no right or wrong. I had a mastectomy last year, decided to go flat. NO regrets! My surgeon discouraged me 3 times, saying that women are psychologically much happier with reconstruction and are unhappy with going flat. That was his medical experience speaking but after reviewing all reconstruction options, I was quite sure going flat was best for me.

It wasn’t easy to ask, but I got another surgeon who listened, understood and believed me. I showed her pictures of good and of really bad surgical results for women going flat. I was clear in letting her know I wanted a smooth scar with no puckering, “dog ears”, etc. My goal was to be able, for a lifetime, to easily examine that side of my chest. Happily, my surgeon did exactly as I asked. My scar is smooth and I can easily do my self-exam.

It helped me to visualize what going flat may look like. Here are a couple of websites that show women who decided to go flat. These are good results. There are websites with pictures of poor results too. https://www.flatandfabulous.org and https://www.thebreastandthesea.com

Best of all luck to you!

At age 50, I was shocked to learn that my real sexual life was about to begin. After divorce from a marriage of 24 years producing 4 children, I assumed that the chapter of my sexual intimacy was closed. Boy was I wrong. I was shocked to met my first true “lover” a year later. And a few more since him! I had breast Implants and subsequently have had them removed. I feel 1,000 better without implants. I elected not to have further breast reconstruction even though medically recommended. There is a beautiful life out there to literally twirl us!

I could appreciate your happiness reading your post @wendyflorida
Thank you for sharing.. This has made my day
I feel the journey is rough, personally and from a marriage perspective
Happiness can be found, if our hearts are open

Hello- you are younger than I was when I had a double mastectomy and chose, after much discussion with my husband, not to reconstruct. I knew I could choose to do it later, but two more surgeries and all that recovery time never sounded good to me. I can be very comfortable and look very normal with the cosmetic help that is available. I was pretty well healed in a few months. The decision is controversial and many friends will not understand. My friends were wonderful through treatment, but I decided to keep this decision private.