Hi @janeejane, I'm glad that you found this article useful and have connected with members like @dorisena, who has personal experience to share with you.
Having to navigate frequent mood changes and never knowing what to expect are exhausting. No wonder your nerves are frayed. I know that many on Connect have had to manage such conditions, and that you have been getting some ideas from other members here and in the Caregivers group https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/caregivers/ where this is a common topic of discussion.
However, abuse is never okay, even if the disease may be (part of) the underlying cause. You must keep yourself safe. And I see that you are taking steps to do that. You may also wish to visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline website http://www.thehotline.org/ On this website you will find tips and resources, as well as a phone number to call 1-800-799-7233 or you can use the online chat and get help without saying a word. By calling the Hotline, you can work with professionals to find a safety solution that is right for you.
A gun is something to take seriously. Am I correct in understanding that your husband no longer has access to the gun because the case lock has been changed? Do you keep the ammunition locked up separately?