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Hi @anonimouse Nice to see you here on Mayo Connect! Lovely photo! I am sorry to read of your diagnosis and applaud your attitude, acceptance, and continuing to work on keeping as many balls in the air as you can!

Your post reminded me of another aspect of the benefits of my wife's neuropsychological testing. The 'knowing'! Not knowing and always wondering was far harder on her and us than once we all knew what was going on medically. She always found the times of not knowing and the times of waiting on results as to be far worse and harder than dealing with the reality once she and we knew it.

As my wife's husband I did need to attune myself to listen for her to say 'no'. Early on we were always in the 'try again' mode, but as time progressed and her journey continued I learned to accept when she'd say 'no' to me about some task, chore, or job she had been doing. I would often see a very positive change in her as she could put that challenge aside and continue to be happier doing those things she was able to continue to master and continued to bring her some measure of happiness. As my wife's neuro-oncologist used to remind me often 'change is inevitable. Accepting that can be the hardest part.'

Strength, courage, and peace!

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Replies to "Hi @anonimouse Nice to see you here on Mayo Connect! Lovely photo! I am sorry to..."

@anonimouse, @indiana Scott, Hello! I love seeing your lovely picture. It's fun to see the face of the person we're chatting with and it helps to see your beautiful smile!

You are showing such strength and confidence dealing with your diagnosis. You know, your doctor was so right…it's not a death sentence…..it is a change in life sentence. It is a leaning experience, learning all about acceptance, recognition of the small and huge changes you and your husband and friends see every day, changes you may not realize at first or may not understand or may be challenging. You're such a strong person and it looks like you are doing well during this learning time.

You know, I have for several years had such a tough time standing to prepare and cook, cutting and preparation is tough with some of my issues, and I just can't cook anymore. Well, ok. That's one big change I and my son had to address…….we did and began finding other good ways have good meals. I missed it and my family missed my cooking, wanting me to keep it up and be stronger. I did it as long and as much as I could. When I got to the point I simply could not be happy cooking, I said so and we made other arrangements. We recognized the changes and made changes in how we handled the cooking. It worked so well, I was happier and felt more secure so others around me felt better, too.

No one starved. We all had to get used to come a new way of doing what needed to be done. That's all. I creates a reason for you to all work together to find new ways to accomplish what you needed.

I remember when my mother had the same problem you have and was so frustrated when she couldn't remember her recipe or what she needed to put into something she was making for lunch. She forgot how to cook, how to do other things. When we saw it was time to make a change, we adjusted and she could relax, not feel so anxious to make herself do the things she always did and do them the same way. She just couldn't….so we did it a different way or someone else helped and did it for us.

You know, it was difficult but we finally figured it out and she was so much happier. We all were because of the reduced stress since she couldn't do what we were trying to help her do!

You sound so good. I think your message and your input with folks who are experiencing some of the same things you and your husband are. will be very helpful for them. As a nurse, I know this is really important to you, to help others. Well, you did with your message.

Look forward to hearing more about how you and your husband are handling these issues as they arise. Scott….o
Blessings to you and everyone in your family. elizabeth

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