It may seem like it would be embarrassing to see someone for help, but you'd be amazed what a difference it would make. If you're open and honest and have a good therapist who interacts with you, it will most likely be helpful. There is nothing that makes you less of a person to ask for help! It sounds like you are under a lot of stress and having someone to bounce that off of and point out that you may be approaching the way you look at something, in a new way can be very helpful. We can get easily discouraged if we are struggling with things and another pair of eyes to help you look at it can make a difference if you have an open mind. If you get the courage up to try a therapist of some type don't get discouraged if they aren't a good fit sometimes it takes a few to really find one who clicks for you. It's not you it's the therapist you'll find a good one. Sometimes if they challenge you, and you feel uncomfortable they may be the one because of that if it's uncomfortable because you realize they may be right. I would strongly recommend you find a therapist given what you've said in your post and speaking from experience similar to yours in ways. I am much older now but went through some similar tuff when I was around your age.