I know this is long, but I think I need help. Someone please read

Thanks in advance to anyone who actually takes the time out to read this through and help me 🙂

Good evening Manni, @keltothemoon, and welcome to Connect, So, from 14 to 18, life has been been quite erratic and challenging for you, Because of your self-diagnosing and research you are leaning toward a diagnosis of cyclothymia which can lead to Bipolar. So far, you have not been treated and have been rather quiet about your behavior and symptoms. My mental health training is very old and so am I. However, I want to tell you that we have been dealing with a similar situation. My granddaughter is a born “helper” and was majoring in mental health after suffering through years of OCD including residential treatment,

Her boyfriend, for whom she is caregiver and to some degree therapist, is Bipolar. He has been in a residential treatment center several times, required EMC by helicopter which prevented one of his self harm episodes and is quite a talented artist and musician. Because of COVID, he gave up his Stand up Comedy routine.

Somehow, someway, they have been able to help each other, e.g. he helps her choose her outfit for the day because decision making is too stressful for her. She comes when he calls......always worrying about the severity of an episode. He is honest with her and she with him. Recently he began getting ketamine infusions, Unfortunately they became too expensive and so he went back to meds and talk therapy.

Are you still with me? They participated in our Holliday Zoom programs, first time he had all 12 of us in front of him. Within a couple of days they were driving back to the city after doing some volunteer care duties for farm animals. On the way back, he mentioned to her, “please drop me off at the Mental Health hospital....I am not getting over this. I am too suicidal.” After admission he told her he would probably be there a week to work out all of the manic symptoms that had built up.

He was right, and he is now back home working on his next recording, The point here is......do not be afraid of the diagnosis or the treatment. Find help where you know you will be cared for and treated with respect at all times. Be just as honest with the members of your therapy team as you are with yourself.

What would be the first 3 items you would like help with..........
1._________________
2._________________
3._________________

May you be safe and protected from inner and outer harm.
Chris

@keltothemoon . Hello Manni. This is Gina. I'm so glad you connected with this forum. There are so many people here that will genuinely hear what you're saying. I just want to tell you that I understand the symptoms you describe. I'm a senior now, but I've experienced serious stuff as you describe. I have three sons who have varying degrees of mental challenges. I want to encourage you to reach out for help in a manner that makes you feel safe. I'm thinking that the mentors here will be able to guide you as to how to find safe help in the city you live in. You've already taken a big step by sharing what you're going through with us. You are being heard. Blessings.

Thanks for replying! I don't know if you were actually asking or telling me to consider what the 3 items are but in this order, it'd definitely be: Actually getting this diagnosed if it's what's happening to me, finding a way to stabilize myself, because these lows feel so low, and it's one of the most painful feelings, and lastly how to talk with my family about. Though I'm 18, I find it hard to believe I'd be able to get help without telling them. I have no money and am dependent on them. A therapy team sounds interesting but I have no idea how to go about getting one. I was most definitely scared of a potential disorder for the longest but it's gotten to the point where I believe I need to be diagnosed in order to get better. I'm just scared about the type of response I'll get, if that makes any sense

I can't even begin to describe how great it feels to actually have people know about my challenges and offer non-vague encouragement (which is what I get when I'm "looking down", aka one of my lows). I came on here because this is all I could think of while feeling safe. I hope I can be guided to the next steps and given the right advice. Thank you sm for replying, and I'm thanking God that I'm actually being heard. God bless you

@keltothemoon Hello and I am so thankful you reached out for support. There are so many incredible members who trade giving and getting support on Connect. Already, @artscaping and @georgette12 have come into this conversation to provide their thoughts and ask some additional questions. Based on your feedback, I can see sharing with your family is very important to you personally as well as because you will need their support in many ways to go to that next level of connecting with a professional who can help to start the process of diagnosis and then ultimately stabilizing.

I might suggest starting with sharing with them since you feel you will not be able to get to step two without them knowing. That said, it sounds like you have a very loving family yet you are struggling to find the best way to share this with them. Do you think you would be more comfortable sharing verbally or in a short letter? You are a lovely writer and could literally take your post and adapt it.

Which way do you feel would make YOU feel more comfortable and allow you to check step 1 off of your list?

First off, thanks for the compliment on my writing, I pride myself on writing and it's nice for people to notice. Secondly, whether I tell them verbally or through a letter is something I need to think about. I think a letter would be better as I often get tongue-tied and anxious. It is very important to me that I share this with my family, but the reason I have it as such a high priority is because I don't think I can get help without them knowing. But is there? Because I know for a fact they'd respond the best if I came to them with words from someone that they'd listen to. Like is it possible to talk to and get diagnosed online or through calls? Does anyone have any suggestions for how a broke, dependent 18 year old could go about this without talking with my parents? I'm so sorry if these sound like dumb questions, I'm extremely unknowledgeable about the subject of mental health altogether and am just asking whatever comes to my mind and hoping they're legit questions and not dumb ones lol. If not, and my parents are the only way, I'll probably go about adapting my post and sending it to them.

I think talking to a therapist would be great for you because they cannot talk with anyone about what you talk to them about

Good evening @keltothemoon. Manni.....those 3 items were for you to complete. And you did a great job. You want a diagnosis, stability and a supportive environment from your family. And I need to explain to you what a therapy team does. First.....Mayo Clinic is the forerunner of working in teams so that everything needed to be understood is shared by all of the clinicians involved. In a normal environment.....you would have a psychiatrist, a therapist and someone who advises and works on your exercise and body health routine. Or something close to that. Notice that you knew the answers and just had not responded on your own.

Do you live in a city? A rural area? That can help determine ways in which a treatment program can be put together for you. And now for my last inquiry for the evening.......do you know about Rogers Behavioral Health? If you wouldn’t mind....take a look at its purpose and its programs. I have been to the one in Wisconsin. At your age.....it might have appropriate support systems that will work including financial assistance.

Let me know what you think.

I like your idea of a written introduction to your family. As you discuss, you can then make up a list of questions or issues that need answers if available.

The other item I am noticing is fear. You need some positive responses about your concerns to become a tad bit more confident. You don’t have to do everything at once......you just need to have a plan that moves you forward.

‘Night........I applaud your efforts and feel that you know more than you think you do. You just need us to help you with the “lingo”.

May you have a lovely sleep and wake to a day of comfort and ease.
Chris

@keltothemoon I'm glad you feel supported and I think it is commendable for you to recognize you need help. There is such stigma around mental health but a mental health issue is the same as having any other medical issue. There is a lack of understanding regarding mental health. I think it's important for you to know that many successful people receive mental health treatment and most of the symptoms that you speak of are likely extremely treatable through a medication and therapy combination. (Side note- Did you know our second president John Adams likely had bipolar disorder?) Early intervention is key in the treatment of mental health. What this means is that the earlier you receive treatment the more likely the treatment will successfully manage your symptoms.

How does an 18-year-old get mental health treatment when he is dependent? Well, this can be tricky. I hope that I am not too directive and forgive me if I am. I get the feeling you are wanting practical answers to your questions.

I'm assuming you are under your parents' insurance? I think the first step may be to go to your primary care and tell them your symptoms, your concerns regarding your family member's response, and that you feel you need help. Do you have a primary care provider established as an adult yet? You could schedule this appointment as your yearly physical or something. I know it's hard but try to be honest with them at the appointment. They see this kind of thing multiple times per day.

The primary care provider will most likely give your a referral for a therapist and/or discuss medication. They could also refer you to a psychiatrist. Do you think maybe your parents would feel differently if a professional felt this concern should be addressed?

You should know that despite your being on your parents' insurance, they do not have access to your mental health treatment notes. They will have access to the bills and EOB. That is why this is tricky.

There are places that offer free and cheap mental health services, not related to your medical insurance. Often your local county Health and Human Services Department will offer these kinds of resources and/or direct you to other resources. You can also google mental health resource hotline. (Do they call it a hotline anymore?) You will likely find multiple resources in your area.

I know this is difficult but you seem extremely intelligent, proactive, and savvy regarding the utilization of resources. As I said, forgive me if I was too directive.

Take care,
Erika