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Assisted Living and DNR (Do Not Resuscitate)
Caregivers | Last Active: Mar 24, 2022 | Replies (62)Comment receiving replies
@colleenyoung My husband passed away Jan 3rd. FTD APHASIA/ALZHEIMER'S 4 yrs along. Had covid early Dec.. No ventilator. No lung issues. Severely dehydrated malnourished in nursing home. Not eating or drinking. Not able visit since Mar. 2020.as directed by Mich. Governor.Trans to hosp. Dec 18..then Dec 24 to Hospice facility. We did not know how he had digressed with dementia. Window visits were only connection since Mar. 2020.. He was very receptive and seemed to know us. Laughing, etc. But of course not vocal except a few yes, no oh!! Apparently he "was kept comfortable" because of DNR in file. It should have been changed we did not know we could. He was not given IV fluids during his covid since DNR in place at nursing facility. Released from hospital with vitals back to normal. But his aphasia was advanced. So he passed. Might have been better outcome if DNR was Changed. Even tho he got over covid it was listed on death certificate as cause of death. I'm disappointed in myself as POA, etc. Angry at nursing home to say nothing of my shock of his passing..he was eating pureed food and thickened liquids after released from hospital. I am missing him terribly. Bottom line!!! DNR and end of life wishes need to be reviewed on occasion. I wish I knew that. Sorry for my rant. Thankyou.
Replies to "@colleenyoung My husband passed away Jan 3rd. FTD APHASIA/ALZHEIMER'S 4 yrs along. Had covid early Dec....."
@dianajane, You make such a good point of the need to periodically review end-of-life decisions. My deepest condolences on the recent loss of your beloved husband. What a difficult journey you've been on. Please be kind to yourself as you grieve.
It seems to be human nature that following the death of a loved one, we tend to berate ourselves with a lot of "if onlys, and what ifs". It has taken me months to get beyond the anger I felt about what "should have but didn't" take place following my best friend's long illness and recent death.
Your post didn't strike me as a rant at all and served to impressed the importance of periodically reviewing our end-of-life decisions. My hope is that with more time, your thoughts will dwell more on the lovely times you shared. I don't think the "missing" ever stops but time can bring us to a place of more peace and thanksgiving for that very special person's place in our lives. Thank you for your post. Thinking of you, Diana, and wishing you comfort.
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@dianajane First, my sincere condolences on the loss of your husband. And now to say "thank you" for the very real example of how we need to review our decision making paperwork every so often, to confirm it aligns with our desires and wishes.Please do not continue to beat yourself up. What happened, happened. By sharing your experience with us, you have helped countless others.
Ginger