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fatherscaregiver (@fatherscaregiver)

Assisted Living and DNR (Do Not Resuscitate)

Caregivers | Last Active: Mar 24 3:31pm | Replies (62)

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@ess77

Hello, fatherscaregiver and all. What a great discussion pertinent to so many of us. I come into this from 2 very different life experiences and viewpoints.

First, I was my precious mother's caregiver for 12+ years during her long, difficult journey through Altzheimers. I was with her every day, as I moved into a condo in the same area……as a normal daughter, we decided it best for me to live near-by, 2 streets apart….within easy walking distance. Perfect set-up for us at the time. As she progressed through this illness, she lived w/me for a few months until I moved her into assisted living so she could live independently but overseen by caring professionals. I was a small business owner at the time and this was our best determination.

I took care of her laundry at first

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Replies to "Hello, fatherscaregiver and all. What a great discussion pertinent to so many of us. I come..."

Well, friends……I just spent 15 minutes finishing the above note and lost it. Guess I may need to rest from the stress of the last several days, but have to go to Mayo for the rest of the day.
Just know, you are so important in your father's care, his life. I was a 12+ year caregiver. It is a lovely honor and an opportunity you'll cherish forever. Sit with your father, chat about things and family and history and his life and look at pics…identify folks…he may be the last in the family with the knowledge of these people and things. Learn everything you can from him. He's lived a long life and knows so much that may help you. Certainly adds interest to your life and understanding of family members….

Any children around? Be sure they have the chance to visit and get to learn from him….after covid, meet and enjoy his new friends….share. Have meals with him and his friends. Don't lose this precious time!

I was for 15+ years in retirement community administration, several years as an administrator. From behind the desk, it's important to meet and get to know the families of the residents. If you have an issue with something or someone, stop by and share, briefly, the circumstances so he/she will be in the know and can resolve the issue. Remember, too, these facilities are licensed be the state. They have large, thick books full of rules and regs from the state they must follow. They have regular inspections to ck they are indeed following precisely. So, you are helping him have a better community. By helping each other, all win.

Be sure to stick your head in the door and let the secretary know about something good that happened. That's a good thing.

Well, those are some thoughts that i hope help a bit. As we say in the lovely south, "Ya'll take care, now!"

I'm off to Mayo. It a lovely 64 degrees, clear and sunny, after several days of cool rain – in the 50's. Twill be good to get out, drive 15 miles and enjoy the day. Today are tests and a doc appt. Tomorrow is an endoscopy…Barrett's Syndrome, hernia, reflux, nodul????, who knows what else…at least I'll get a good little rest tomorrow! Then, on to fix anything fixable, spend the next week finishing the yucky stuff and hope for a time of rest. Get back to the heated pool and walking….get my new mattress the 16th! From Macy's…goodie! Great mattress clearance and close-out! Tell you more after a few nights sleep!

Blessings, all. elizabeth

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