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fatherscaregiver (@fatherscaregiver)

Assisted Living and DNR (Do Not Resuscitate)

Caregivers | Last Active: Mar 24 3:31pm | Replies (62)

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@merpreb I did speak with the social worker and nursing administrator early this week. They did explain the nurses know the residents the best, (in the facility) but also agreed that when calling about a hemorrhoid issue it would be an inappropriate time to bring up DNR status. They did say the nurses will go to them (social worker and administrator) if they feel there is a need and then a care conference will be scheduled to discuss it. They are going to address this with all nurses about when and how DNR status changes are addressed with the family to prevent this from happening again. I am hoping it was a lapse in judgement and will try to give the benefit of doubt but will also keep an eye on it best I can. I do understand that with the ongoing Covid pandemic procedures and normal meetings have not been occurring as they usually would. They were very apologetic and understood my concern.

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Replies to "@merpreb I did speak with the social worker and nursing administrator early this week. They did..."

@fatherscaregiver Anytime you feel a care conference is needed you can insist on one. With the pandemic it can be via Zoom, FaceTime, Skype.. There is Google app I cannot remember the name of. …. But sometimes talking face-to-face even through video conference is a big help. All those can be used to talk with your father if visitation is not possible. I called my mom everyday, but only face-timed a couple of times a month.. only one lady had an Iphone. I had to complain because no one would answer any of the three numbers I dialed.. one was my mom's phone.. they kept it out of her reach most of the time. She could not work a cell phone, but through Verizon we set up a phone that is a cell phone, but works like a regular house phone.. like she was used to. My brother could not get them to answer either. If I used my husband's phone to call they would answer. I think something to do with caller ID.. I think they thought I called too much. Mom got to where she could not dial.. even speed dial because she had more mini strokes and a mild stroke.

I thought Zoom would be hard to do with a lawyer.. signing papers to sell land.. but his assistant called a few days before and helped me with the app. I'm 69 1/2 with brain fog half the time and probably would be called a Luddite by the younger generation. I prefer old-fashion face-to-face or a regular old phone. Technology overwhelms my mind sometimes.


Hello, fatherscaregiver and all. What a great discussion pertinent to so many of us. I come into this from 2 very different life experiences and viewpoints.

First, I was my precious mother's caregiver for 12+ years during her long, difficult journey through Altzheimers. I was with her every day, as I moved into a condo in the same area……as a normal daughter, we decided it best for me to live near-by, 2 streets apart….within easy walking distance. Perfect set-up for us at the time. As she progressed through this illness, she lived w/me for a few months until I moved her into assisted living so she could live independently but overseen by caring professionals. I was a small business owner at the time and this was our best determination.

I took care of her laundry at first

@fatherscaregiver, just checking in. How are you and your father doing?

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