Daphne? New here and am afraid, as when have tried to join other large well used sites, get lost.... Your post Dec.30 rings a bell with me. However, I have coped with illness, depression, anxiety, abuse - nice times/bad times.. but at 77 I AM afraid to live with any more illnesses than I have now and I have thought this through and through and, like you, dont want to be negative for anyone else, but I don't think I can cope with much more. I dont like the overuse of the phrase "been there done that" but it sums it up. I cherish the times in past and even intermixed now with my problems, when I have felt or do feel better. My parents and only sibling have passed away and I have a spouse and 2 adult children. They want me to persevere but as they have heard it all before, many times, now I hear: we don't know what to say. Brave people who live with pain and suffering. I suppose I am not brave and if present situation doesnt change (and I dont think it will)... well I have a "plan" .... whether or not I will carry it out I cannot say but to me it is an alternative to what you describe and yes, I can relate. However, I absolutely support and encourage and try and share my successes with others... there is help, there is hope, there is better future! ..... sometimes we go away and forget to water our plants: come home and, whew, they all survived... oh, but this one didn't...... (old age?) (Nature?) (roorbound?) ..I am that plant. J.S.