Celebrating the holidays differently. What gift can you give yourself?

@nannette1941- I'm in a funk myself. I feel angry and depressed. I've felt like this throughout most of my life. It really helps to open up like this and tell someone. The feeling isn't pleasant but there are ways to overcome them. I feel that our pasts will tell us how to get ourselves out of funks.

In the past what did you used to do to overcome tough times?

With permission from Paradise Found [ParadiseFoundSantaBarbara.com], here is an article written by Ellen Wirth-Foster, who works with them. I look forward to their words of comfort each time it arrives in my inbox. This article really hit home for me this week. It's a bit of a read, but worth it!
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A Quiet + Contemplative New Year's Eve
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“How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.”
~Annie Dillard

"It doesn’t have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don’t try
to make them elaborate, this isn’t
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak."

~Mary Oliver

New Year's Eve 2014...It was a cold, snowy day in the high, pine forested mountains of Arizona. I was visiting a dear friend at her cabin and we had been housebound for days. Our only entertainments were playing the piano + guitar, singing, drawing, loud enthusiastic midnight dancing, and creating time-consuming, elaborate vegetarian meals. Although we were isolated, it was a magical time, full of poetry and music and all the things I love about life.

I am reminded of this time every year, because this visit was the last time I got to spend with my friend before she passed away unexpectedly at age 23--and I am constantly learning how precious she was to me and how much her friendship added and continues to add to my life. What was once loss has transformed into an endlessly deep well of love and inspiration...There is always more love and more energy that comes from our friendship and the lessons I am continually learning (re-learning?) because of it.

She introduced me to a New Year's tradition which I would like to share with you: on New Year's Eve we each took a large piece of paper from an oversized sketchbook, and whatever colored markers we could lay our hands on. We each cast our minds back over the events of the past year, and contemplated what we'd learned, what we had gained and lost, what we dreamed and wished and hoped for in the coming year. Then, we each wrote a letter to our future self, to be opened the following New Year's Eve.

In the letter, you can write whatever you want. Maybe you will tell yourself about all the challenges you overcame in the past few months, or an unexpected joy you experienced. Maybe you will describe this year in 3 words, or perhaps you will focus on the future and everything you hope for in the year to come. When you have written your letter and sealed it, put it away somewhere safe. Next year, before you write another letter, you can read the old one and see how far you've come, the things that have changed in your life, and the ways you've grown and changed.

Every time I write my New Year's letter I remember how important it is to be awake, to pay attention to life as it slips by--To spend my time and energy trying to focus and appreciate all that I have, and gather all the inspiration and tools that can help me do so. I invite you to join me in this tradition taught to me by someone whose idealistic and hopeful nature, brilliant artistic and musical mind, and incredible creative dancing fire continue to inspire me every day.

New Years' blessings
EWF

‍On a practical note, it can help to have some questions to start out with. Even if you only answer one or two, it is a good way to get the creative juices flowing. My friend always asked fascinating, fruitful questions that could bring even the shyest strangers out of their shells. Here are some simple ones to get you going:

‍What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
What was an unexpected joy this past year?
What was an unexpected obstacle?
In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?
In what way(s) did you grow physically?
What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
What advice would you like to give yourself as you begin the New Year?
At the end of the year, how would you like your life to be transformed?
How would you like to deeply improve your relationship with yourself this year?
In what ways will you channel your creativity and express yourself?
In what ways would you be willing to bring more enjoyment into your life?
What would your ideal career be if you could do anything?
What is one undeveloped talent you are willing to explore?
What do you want to learn more of?
Describe your ideal day--how would you most like to spend your time?
What is your life really about? What is your purpose?
What would you most like to be acknowledged for so far in your life?
What risk are you willing to take this year?
What would you like your impact on your community to be?
How can you change your current habitat to fully support who you’re becoming?
If you were not scared, what would you do?
What are you pretending not to know? What truth do you need to know?
If your life were exclusively oriented toward your values, what would that be like?
What is your favorite thing to do and how can you make more time to do it?
‍"20 Questions for New Year’s Eve," by Tsh Oxenreider at TheArtOfSimple.com
"100 Reflection Questions to Help Guide Your New Year's Resolutions," by Carly Sullens for Holidappy.com
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Ginger
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@nannette1941- I'm in a funk myself. I feel angry and depressed. I've felt like this throughout most of my life. It really helps to open up like this and tell someone. The feeling isn't pleasant but there are ways to overcome them. I feel that our pasts will tell us how to get ourselves out of funks.

In the past what did you used to do to overcome tough times?

@merpreb and @nannette1941, Darn! Those days of being in a funk when we feel angry and depressed are really a bear aren't they!

After the many numerous good wishes for a Happy New Year followed by comments of "hope for how much better the new year will be..(and I am guilty of those for sure!), I hit a funky bomb day with the thoughts of "what if it isn't a happier, saner, healthier year? After all, "things can always get worse!", right? Oh, my word...that is a sure trademark of "stinkin' thinkin" but it does happen and perhaps to most of us from time to time.

Not @nannette1941, but Merry, your question got me thinking of what I've done or do to help me step out of the blues when they hit. One of the best is to leave the house and head for a park or even head for a large pkg lot and just watch people going in and out...any season will work.

Another, weather permitting, is going into my yard and doing something physical to my landscape. Just turning the compost pile or ideas for adding or deleting plants for the next season or pulling weeds helps because I can lose myself there and it removes my focus on what's troubling and redirects me to a more constructive train of thought.

Long before I started jotting down gratitudes each morning and night before bed during the pandemic, I used to make myself sit and write as fast as possible as many gratitudes as I could come up with.

Merry, I agree that reaching out to someone else is another great antidote. When I'm having a really down day though, I don't want to call another but I've sometimes made myself make a call anyway...not to share my own blues but to check on what is happening with them..just hearing another voice and what is shared can improve my spirits.

Whatever I can come up with that will redirect my focus away from me and onto something else can make a difference. Physically "doing" rather than sitting and "mulling" works best for me.

However, yesterday was one of those days when I was feeling angry at the "state of the world". Could not work up interest in anything in the yard so drove over to the local wildflower park. Usually there are a few others there walking which allows for a wave or "hi" but I had the small park all to myself and though it felt strange not to see another, I did push to walk farther and longer than usual. Driving away I saw a family of four walking in the park. Timing is everything but I did have my own private park for awhile, yes?

Decided that the car could really use a professional bath but too many others had the same idea and my patience wasn't up to the wait. Once home, I grabbed the spray and cleaned all the windows. That didn't take long but doing that one small thing improved my outlook. Had been "looking at" the basket of yarn, needles and instr. manuals sitting on my breakfast bar for days to encourage my attempt to re-teach and resume knitting for the new year. Last evening, I actually opened the manual and while I wasn't completely successful with the beginning steps, I was surprised that instead of being frustrated at the failed attempt, I would never have even tried that yesterday given my mood earlier in the day. Everything is relative yes?

Just a ramble here and not expecting responses but glad to have a place to share and would be interested in hearing what others do and find helpful when a down day happens?

Hello Ginger,
In the past I could walk 10 miles a day, so I would go out and walk, today, the feet hurt, that is another thorn, and I had more friends... today, everyone is afraid of the virus so very few contact... I write poetry also, and, in the past I had to go to work so I had 8 hours whereby I did not have to look for things to do, what about you Ginger?

I am 77. When I was 16-ish I used to read the obituaries in the local paper. For some reason I found them fascinating, wondering about the age they died at. And if I saw that the person was 39 or so (Jack Benny's constant age...), I thought, "Oh, he's old. It's ok for him to die." I never imagined I'd live beyond 60. But here I am. Looking forward to the future because of my religious beliefs, which I did not always have. Just to say that while getting old-er and more decrepit, I still have hope for the future. I read today that one of the cast members of the original "Gilligan's Island," Dawn Wells, died at 82. She had a very interesting bio, glad I read it.