Celebrating the holidays differently. What gift can you give yourself?

With permission from Paradise Found [ParadiseFoundSantaBarbara.com], here is an article written by Ellen Wirth-Foster, who works with them. I look forward to their words of comfort each time it arrives in my inbox. This article really hit home for me this week. It's a bit of a read, but worth it!
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A Quiet + Contemplative New Year's Eve
‍
“How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.”
~Annie Dillard

"It doesn’t have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don’t try
to make them elaborate, this isn’t
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak."

~Mary Oliver

New Year's Eve 2014...It was a cold, snowy day in the high, pine forested mountains of Arizona. I was visiting a dear friend at her cabin and we had been housebound for days. Our only entertainments were playing the piano + guitar, singing, drawing, loud enthusiastic midnight dancing, and creating time-consuming, elaborate vegetarian meals. Although we were isolated, it was a magical time, full of poetry and music and all the things I love about life.

I am reminded of this time every year, because this visit was the last time I got to spend with my friend before she passed away unexpectedly at age 23--and I am constantly learning how precious she was to me and how much her friendship added and continues to add to my life. What was once loss has transformed into an endlessly deep well of love and inspiration...There is always more love and more energy that comes from our friendship and the lessons I am continually learning (re-learning?) because of it.

She introduced me to a New Year's tradition which I would like to share with you: on New Year's Eve we each took a large piece of paper from an oversized sketchbook, and whatever colored markers we could lay our hands on. We each cast our minds back over the events of the past year, and contemplated what we'd learned, what we had gained and lost, what we dreamed and wished and hoped for in the coming year. Then, we each wrote a letter to our future self, to be opened the following New Year's Eve.

In the letter, you can write whatever you want. Maybe you will tell yourself about all the challenges you overcame in the past few months, or an unexpected joy you experienced. Maybe you will describe this year in 3 words, or perhaps you will focus on the future and everything you hope for in the year to come. When you have written your letter and sealed it, put it away somewhere safe. Next year, before you write another letter, you can read the old one and see how far you've come, the things that have changed in your life, and the ways you've grown and changed.

Every time I write my New Year's letter I remember how important it is to be awake, to pay attention to life as it slips by--To spend my time and energy trying to focus and appreciate all that I have, and gather all the inspiration and tools that can help me do so. I invite you to join me in this tradition taught to me by someone whose idealistic and hopeful nature, brilliant artistic and musical mind, and incredible creative dancing fire continue to inspire me every day.

New Years' blessings
EWF

‍On a practical note, it can help to have some questions to start out with. Even if you only answer one or two, it is a good way to get the creative juices flowing. My friend always asked fascinating, fruitful questions that could bring even the shyest strangers out of their shells. Here are some simple ones to get you going:

‍What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
What was an unexpected joy this past year?
What was an unexpected obstacle?
In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?
In what way(s) did you grow physically?
What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
What advice would you like to give yourself as you begin the New Year?
At the end of the year, how would you like your life to be transformed?
How would you like to deeply improve your relationship with yourself this year?
In what ways will you channel your creativity and express yourself?
In what ways would you be willing to bring more enjoyment into your life?
What would your ideal career be if you could do anything?
What is one undeveloped talent you are willing to explore?
What do you want to learn more of?
Describe your ideal day--how would you most like to spend your time?
What is your life really about? What is your purpose?
What would you most like to be acknowledged for so far in your life?
What risk are you willing to take this year?
What would you like your impact on your community to be?
How can you change your current habitat to fully support who you’re becoming?
If you were not scared, what would you do?
What are you pretending not to know? What truth do you need to know?
If your life were exclusively oriented toward your values, what would that be like?
What is your favorite thing to do and how can you make more time to do it?
‍"20 Questions for New Year’s Eve," by Tsh Oxenreider at TheArtOfSimple.com
"100 Reflection Questions to Help Guide Your New Year's Resolutions," by Carly Sullens for Holidappy.com
******************
Ginger
‍

@gingerw Wonderful reflections. It makes me think too that we never know when something will be the "last time" as it was with the author's friend. I felt that keenly this past summer. My brother had heart problems for a long time but always managed to overcome them. I really didn't expect his passing when he did, it was difficult for all of us. Thankfully though, he passed away in his sleep and was found by his wife the following morning. Due to his problems they were not sharing a bedroom.
JK

@jakedduck1 If you think I am "modern day" because I mention Betty Crocker, it is not a Betty Crocker mix, but a recipe from a Betty Crocker cookbook. I do always cook from scratch.

@becsbuddy coconut truffles sound delicious. I would love that recipe. I have a friend who is a huge coconut fan, she would love them. She is always baking apple pies and chocolate chip cookies and giving them to my husband since most of the year I do not bake much, so I would love to have something yummy that I could reciprocate with, despite that she brings them to my husband, not me!
JK

@gingerw Wonderful reflections. It makes me think too that we never know when something will be the "last time" as it was with the author's friend. I felt that keenly this past summer. My brother had heart problems for a long time but always managed to overcome them. I really didn't expect his passing when he did, it was difficult for all of us. Thankfully though, he passed away in his sleep and was found by his wife the following morning. Due to his problems they were not sharing a bedroom.
JK

I am 77. When I was 16-ish I used to read the obituaries in the local paper. For some reason I found them fascinating, wondering about the age they died at. And if I saw that the person was 39 or so (Jack Benny's constant age...), I thought, "Oh, he's old. It's ok for him to die." I never imagined I'd live beyond 60. But here I am. Looking forward to the future because of my religious beliefs, which I did not always have. Just to say that while getting old-er and more decrepit, I still have hope for the future. I read today that one of the cast members of the original "Gilligan's Island," Dawn Wells, died at 82. She had a very interesting bio, glad I read it.

hey @jakedduck1 , I remember you asked me recently why did I move from Silicon Valley? I'm thinking of those days back then, wondering myself, and the reason was this:

I survived the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake, but sat in traffic too much, I was totaly burned out from the traffic by 1991
In 1991, I lived in Alameda county, and this fire, this sealed it for me, I was done with California:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oakland_firestorm_of_1991
I lived just south of Oakland obviously, and I'd had enough. I remember thinking to myself "what? I have a fancy Master's degree on the way, and then sit in traffic to work my job, and then have my home burn to the ground? I don't think so!"

And so I moved back to Iowa.

where were you for the Oakland fires in 1991? do you remember that?

This is my gift to me this holiday, is finding peace with this decision that I made as a young person way back when. It's an important gift, this decision often haunts me. What kind of life altering decisions have you had to make?

@Erinmfs, not Leonard but your reasons make good sense to me!!! Smiles Life altering decisons?? Too many to count...Most turned out for the best. Happy New Year!

With permission from Paradise Found [ParadiseFoundSantaBarbara.com], here is an article written by Ellen Wirth-Foster, who works with them. I look forward to their words of comfort each time it arrives in my inbox. This article really hit home for me this week. It's a bit of a read, but worth it!
*************
A Quiet + Contemplative New Year's Eve
‍
“How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.”
~Annie Dillard

"It doesn’t have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don’t try
to make them elaborate, this isn’t
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak."

~Mary Oliver

New Year's Eve 2014...It was a cold, snowy day in the high, pine forested mountains of Arizona. I was visiting a dear friend at her cabin and we had been housebound for days. Our only entertainments were playing the piano + guitar, singing, drawing, loud enthusiastic midnight dancing, and creating time-consuming, elaborate vegetarian meals. Although we were isolated, it was a magical time, full of poetry and music and all the things I love about life.

I am reminded of this time every year, because this visit was the last time I got to spend with my friend before she passed away unexpectedly at age 23--and I am constantly learning how precious she was to me and how much her friendship added and continues to add to my life. What was once loss has transformed into an endlessly deep well of love and inspiration...There is always more love and more energy that comes from our friendship and the lessons I am continually learning (re-learning?) because of it.

She introduced me to a New Year's tradition which I would like to share with you: on New Year's Eve we each took a large piece of paper from an oversized sketchbook, and whatever colored markers we could lay our hands on. We each cast our minds back over the events of the past year, and contemplated what we'd learned, what we had gained and lost, what we dreamed and wished and hoped for in the coming year. Then, we each wrote a letter to our future self, to be opened the following New Year's Eve.

In the letter, you can write whatever you want. Maybe you will tell yourself about all the challenges you overcame in the past few months, or an unexpected joy you experienced. Maybe you will describe this year in 3 words, or perhaps you will focus on the future and everything you hope for in the year to come. When you have written your letter and sealed it, put it away somewhere safe. Next year, before you write another letter, you can read the old one and see how far you've come, the things that have changed in your life, and the ways you've grown and changed.

Every time I write my New Year's letter I remember how important it is to be awake, to pay attention to life as it slips by--To spend my time and energy trying to focus and appreciate all that I have, and gather all the inspiration and tools that can help me do so. I invite you to join me in this tradition taught to me by someone whose idealistic and hopeful nature, brilliant artistic and musical mind, and incredible creative dancing fire continue to inspire me every day.

New Years' blessings
EWF

‍On a practical note, it can help to have some questions to start out with. Even if you only answer one or two, it is a good way to get the creative juices flowing. My friend always asked fascinating, fruitful questions that could bring even the shyest strangers out of their shells. Here are some simple ones to get you going:

‍What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
What was an unexpected joy this past year?
What was an unexpected obstacle?
In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?
In what way(s) did you grow physically?
What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
What advice would you like to give yourself as you begin the New Year?
At the end of the year, how would you like your life to be transformed?
How would you like to deeply improve your relationship with yourself this year?
In what ways will you channel your creativity and express yourself?
In what ways would you be willing to bring more enjoyment into your life?
What would your ideal career be if you could do anything?
What is one undeveloped talent you are willing to explore?
What do you want to learn more of?
Describe your ideal day--how would you most like to spend your time?
What is your life really about? What is your purpose?
What would you most like to be acknowledged for so far in your life?
What risk are you willing to take this year?
What would you like your impact on your community to be?
How can you change your current habitat to fully support who you’re becoming?
If you were not scared, what would you do?
What are you pretending not to know? What truth do you need to know?
If your life were exclusively oriented toward your values, what would that be like?
What is your favorite thing to do and how can you make more time to do it?
‍"20 Questions for New Year’s Eve," by Tsh Oxenreider at TheArtOfSimple.com
"100 Reflection Questions to Help Guide Your New Year's Resolutions," by Carly Sullens for Holidappy.com
******************
Ginger
‍