@mariajean03
Maria, YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON. You are just in need of some help right now. Since no one in your life seems to want to help you, you need to help yourself, be your own best friend. Make a positive step right now and call your county case worker. See if she can take a little of her valuable time and give you some positive advice. Next, call one of your "normal" siblings and talk to them. Make them aware that you could use a little tender loving sibling care right now.

And lastly I would advise you to try to open lines of communication more with Jim. From what you say you sound like you have a lot of conflict and ambivalence about your relationship with him. He cares for you and you do appreciate him, yet he is distant emotionally and is addicted to porn, and you are thinking of divorcing him. Why not tell him that you want to talk about your relationship and your issues surrounding it. It sounds like you guys might benefit from having an open discussion about it if that is possible. There is nothing better for a relationship than open and frank discussion. Forgive me if I am overstepping any bounds. I just know that any issues I and my wife have had have always been resolved by talking them out. You mentioned something earlier about staying with him until he dies. Is he sick? Just trying to flesh out the whole picture.

All my best to you Maria, Hank