@mariajean03 It is good you feel that you can keep yourself safe. It sounds like your childhood and marriage have been extremely difficult. It's important that we all have a support system and it sounds like you do not. It makes sense you feel trapped and alone. It must be hard to have financial and medical concerns piled on top of everything else.

Urgent care's job is only to stabilize you and refer you on. You probably need more long-term and holistic services. I believe with your medical and mental health (trauma) history that you would likely qualify for a county worker or hospital social worker. Many people are unaware that these types of services are available to them. In these sorts of cases with your challenges, it's important to explore and connect with any formal resource available. What do you know about these types of services?