Maria, please don't give up. Things can turn around of which you are even unaware! I would suggest at this point that you take care of yourself. Believe me, I know how extremely hard it is to seek help when you are so depressed. But keep trying. If the doctor you saw was of no help, seek another. Or better still, call a mental health service who can work with you, maybe even on-line. If you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself, call 911 for assistance. But, PLEASE don't give up. I am my husband's fourth wife and he has been verbally abusive at times but he has changed and grown over our 30-year marriage and I also had bunion surgery. Only to tell you that things can change, God loves you and there are several of us praying for you!