BRCA2 and MSH6: Family finds it hard to discuss cancer & feelings

@ali1974
Dear Alice, you certainly have been put through the proverbial wringer at a tender age, and, although I'm a comparative oldster, I can emphasize with your feelings regarding more doctors and tests. It can feel overwhelming at times. We already have enough stress in our lives dealing with how Covid restrictions have changed our lives. Adding medical issues to that can take our breath away.

When I'm going through those medical phases, I grit my teeth and tell myself that, the sooner all the testing and doctor visits are behind me, the sooner I can get back to my life, such as it is. For me, anxiety and fear can lead to depression and depression can lead to abandoning self-care, so I have to watch myself like a hawk. But ignoring anxiety and fear also is dangerous. We all need someone with whom we can discuss those feelings and let off steam. It's not as though we need someone to tell us what to do -- rather we need a neutral, understanding ear who serves as a sounding board. We'll sort it out for ourselves by talking it out over time.

If there isn't a family member who can serve in that capacity, perhaps there is a friend, or a pastor, or a counselor willing to speak to you over the phone on a regular basis. If a local church has a Stephen Ministry program, Stephen Ministers are trained to be good non-interferring listeners who will meet with you by telephone or Zoom on a regular basis until in-person restrictions are lifted. There also are local hotlines which can be helpful. It's a thought.

In the meantime, I wish you well and will be hoping for the best of outcomes for your health. Be as brave as you can muster.

Hi Elizm,
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post.
Your words are very kind. I have better days then not and try to stay positive. I have 2 daughters that I fight for. It will be all okay just as I mentioned it’s very exhausting mentally and physically. Thank you again for your feedback it was very insightful.

Regards,
Alice

Stand still.... listen to your body and if you believe in God talk to Him and He will speak back to you if you just listen. Your family is afraid and that is understandable, they aren’t talking because they don’t know what to say. Give them time show them your strength and I promise it will get better and everything will as it should. Psalms 27 has sustained me perhaps it will help you too.

@rraw
And Philippians 4:13 has carried me through as well. One day at a time for these challenges.

Sorry for the late reply, I don’t always log
on. I would like to say thank you for you kind words. I appreciate your feedback and your right not everyone is comfortable with those types of talks. I am extremely close to my kids and I love them dearly.
You gave me some significant guidance.
Kind regards,
Alice

Thank you, I will review both passages.

Hi @ali1974, I hope you don't mind. I augmented the title of your discussion because I think this is a really good topic of discussion. Let me know if you agree with the title change "BRCA2 and MSH6: Family finds it hard to discuss cancer & feelings."
I'd also like to invite @danielad @elsie37 @jkh @rarelybees2889 @abartels @cindylb and others into this discussion.

First, I want to acknowledge your feelings of "enough already" and "no more doctors." It's exhausting. So often family and friends impose an unreasonable expectation on the patient to have strength and the ability to console or provide comfort. Largely that's because of fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of loss. Fear of mortality. A cancer diagnosis throws you and them into a place that you're not supposed to have to face for years yet. You have to process as they do they. They may take longer.

Here on Mayo Clinic Connect, you can talk about anything and everything, speak about the tough stuff and the uncomfortable topics. We get it.

Thank you

Hi Coleen,
I apologize for the late reply, as mentioned I don’t always log on. Please feel free to change the subject I don’t mind at all. I had a CT Scan on Thursday to review my stomach, urinary tract and pelvic area. It showed abnormal bladder size and infiltrated fatty liver. I am a non drinker and non smoking. So I have the liver biopsy scheduled again for 10/21, which I mentioned in another discussion group of being terrified. I also have blood work done and sent to Myriad for additional genetic testing. As I mentioned I am already BRCA2 and MSH6 positive. I am terrified to see the new results. Is it common to test positive for several genes?
I was able to write my thoughts down and my family has read them. I appreciate them taking the time.

I also would like to say thank you to everyone for your replies. I appreciate all feedback and take it in with a open mind.